Selling Sunset has always been one of those reality shows that makes my brain temporarily smooth. For as long as the episode goes, my brain is just a little monkey smashing cymbals together whilst observing the pretty colours, pretty homes and pretty girls. Afterwards, it’s like my brain ridges come back, all shiny and new. That’s the beauty of mindless escapism, my friends.
But as I watched Selling Sunset Season Six, my brain-monkey was able to squeeze out one critical thought — how the fuck are these gals wearing full-on LOOKS to the office?
Like, not just gorgeous outfits you’d expect highly-paid professionals to wear, but looks that are more suited to a red carpet than an office environment.
Don’t get me wrong, they look incredible and it’s part of the appeal of the show. But since our villainous queen Christine Quinn left the show at the end of Season Five, the rest of the Oppenheim Group girlies have truly upped their game in the fashion department.
Every day at the office is a never-ending runway, with the looks getting more and more outlandish by the day.
Want to know what the wildest part about it is? According to a TikTok by cast member Chelsea Lazkani, the ladies don’t get a budget for the insane glam they present every episode.
“We do not get a wardrobe or glam budget. This is very standard in reality TV,” Chelsea revealed.
“On Selling Sunset we definitely turn up for y’all,” she explained. You certainly do and we thank you for your service.
So, to celebrate the array of incredible looks that are truly inappropriate for office and worksite attire, I thought it would be fun to rank the Selling Sunset Season Six fashion from looks that you’d expect a high-earning, fashion-forward gal to wear to the office, to looks that only make sense on a reality television show.
Shall we begin?
Corporate, but make it reality television
The first cab off the rank is newcomer Bre Tiesi with a look that wouldn’t look out of place in an actual office. Yes, it’s green, but you can’t tell me you wouldn’t see your local girl boss slaying the house down in this little corporate number.
Chelsea Lazkani and Amanza Smith also find themselves in the corporate space with looks that are office appropriate yet office-odd. Say what you will, but HR can’t do shit about people wearing gloves to work.
Conservative, yet batshit
Bre’s look is giving LEGO man and I am into it. I’m not just talking the cartoon blazer, the bangs remind me of the hair piece you can put on LEGO people’s heads. LEGO slay.
Would I expect to see Emma Hernan‘s green look at any harbourside venue that serves margaritas? You better believe I would. Do I love it? You better believe I do. But the real star of the show is this little pink number by Chelsea. Between the coat and the goggles, it’s what I imagine Elle Woods would look like if she went to pilot school instead of law school.
Don’t be fooled by the blazer’s resurgence as a cool girl casual item. It’s workwear, and here, Mary Bonnet knows it. She’s using the blazer to tone down her entirely sequinned crop top and pants number. In the Selling Sunset world, anything can be business appropriate if you chuck a blazer over the top. I love it here.
This might be my favourite look of the entire season. Corporate Khaleesi come through!
Serving legs, serving safety hazard
Aside from being a big Barbie-meets-Bratz slay, there’s nothing wrong with this outfit in this context. Chelsea is serving legs while she stomps around showing her colleagues the new house she’s listing. No harm, no foul.
But here, Chelsea is entering slender man territory. Legs to the gods, gloves, and a push-up bra that was potentially designed by an engineer. It’s a truly ridiculous outfit for day time and work but I love the energy.
Call me a simp for workplace safety but this is the look that really grinds my gears. The fellas have got their enclosed shoes on, with renowned short-man Jason Oppenheim standing in a power pose to offset the giant Romain Bonnet. They’re discussing the construction work happening in the very apartment they’re standing in.
Smack bang in the middle is Mary. She’s looking like a snack in a fluro skirt and crop number and pink blazer draped over her shoulders.
I don’t have an issue with the look. I have an issue with someone wearing opened-toe shoes to a work site. It’s called safety, Selling Sunset, look it up.
Most likely to accidentally flash tit at a broker’s open and only make sense on TV
Now we’re onto the category we’ve all been waiting for — the looks that bring our agents dangerously close to a meeting with the Oppenheim Group HR department.
First up, we have Amanza wearing what I can only describe as a business-meets-pleasure kind of look. The harness and bralette is a sexy twist on the usual office suit, and in that shade of green, this mum-of-two is serving today.
But ultimately, the girls are out on display and that makes her more likely to experience a titty issue.
Above, Chelsea rocked a plastic bodice gown that I can only imagine would be pretty cold on the nips when you first put it on. While she looks pretty tightly strapped in, I don’t know the logistics of a hard plastic dress and worry she could fall prey to a nipple slipple.
Also, please note the golden vagina purse. Incredible.
Ah yes, another Chelsea special.
I love this look because it’s like a caricature of what a hot girl motorbike rider would look like. But while it is show-stopping, we saw on the show how difficult this outfit is to sit down in.
Here, our new outfit queen is truly at risk on all angles but at least she served. With looks like this, I can’t believe she didn’t have a stylist.
Finally, we have Amanza again! A repeat offender!
While I’d argue that this strapless jumpsuit is more office appropriate than half of her wardrobe, for this entire scene I was transfixed by the structural integrity of the outfit. There are so many potential factors that could go wrong; the mesh, the zip and of course, the strapless neckline.
Thankfully, Amanza defied all odds.
Special mentions category
These looks are only the tip of the damn iceberg, my friends.
Here are some of my favourite looks that really didn’t fit into my batshit category system.
This cosy, yeti-chic look from Chelsea.
Another Chelsea look serving bellybutton and Madonna-inspired honkers.
Amanza looking like a five-year-old who’s getting a talking-to from mum.
Oh, it’s all just so good.
So if you need to switch your brain off and haven’t seen Selling Sunset Season Six yet, you know what to do. Even if it’s just to watch what the gals wear from scene to scene, instead of focusing on the storyline.
The post Ranking Selling Sunset Outfits By How Close Their Owners Came To A Tit Flash At A Broker’s Open appeared first on PEDESTRIAN.TV .
