A burgeoning new world of alcohol is upon us. Mountain Dew now has booze in it.
Not the traditional soft drink version, of course, but Hard MTN Dew is a malt beverage true to its original roots. And at five percent alcohol and 100 calories, it’s a proper contender to the throne of an ever-expanding hard seltzer/canned cocktail empire. Gone are the days where you had to mix tequila or vodka into your neon green beverage to create that perfect combat margarita taste. Instead, we live in an era where we can simply choose to do so.
Hard Dew is more than just hype. When I reviewed it last year I was seriously impressed with the amount of true-to-brand flavor the company was able to cram into each can with a seltzer-style calorie payload (and more booze than a light beer). And I clearly wasn’t the only one, as the folks behind the launch haven’t just expanded to new territories — 14 states and counting — but new flavors. Summer 2023 was the backdrop for a Baja Blast-themed extension that brings the Hard MTN Dew portfolio up to eight flavors.
And, because I am a journalist, I am ranking them.
1
Baja Blast Punch
The first pull from the new mix pack was also the one I’m most likely to love. Anytime you can offer me a good fruit punch I’m on board. But a boozy one? Hell yeah.
The carbonation is a little concerning — bubble punch typically leaves me wanting — but it’s Mountain Dew so I’m on board. It smells like orange punch from the first pour. The first sip is … whoa. This is just straight up fruit punch. There’s maybe a tinge of booze toward the back end, but this is sugary fruity goodness all the way down.
It’s a little cherry and a lot of citrus to create a sweet drink with a gentle sourness. Add in the carbonation and it’s a crisp sip that keeps that Splenda-ish current from being cloying or overpowering. This is flavorful and easy to drink; it’s exactly what I want from Hard Mountain Dew.
2
Watermelon
The review (from 2022):
The non-alcoholic version of this is called “Major Melon,” which sounds like it’s 91 percent of the way to an ’80s adult film title. This is only “watermelon,” however, and it bums me out. It smells like Boone’s Farm, which *further* bums me out.
Oh, but the taste, friends. This is a sugary delight, and the alcoholic, acidic tang of bad wine or neutral spirits is swept away in that sweetness. This tastes like a soda — I’m not getting any booze in these sips — and a pretty good one at that. Mountain Dew always made a good diet soda, so the swap of sugar/corn syrup for whatever saccharine substitute they’ve got going on here isn’t especially noticeable.
But I drink those sugar-free versions a lot, so maybe I’m numb to it. Either way, god bless. This is so good it’s dangerous. I just want to pour it into a 52-ounce cup filled with crushed ice, stick a two-foot straw into it and sip it at a tailgate until I forget I rode two hours to watch a Vanderbilt game. It should take about 15 minutes at this rate.
3
Baja Blast
The review (from 2022):
This pours like regular Baja Blast, fresh out of the Taco Bell tap but with (slightly) less carbonation. The smell is pure sugary Dew-y bliss. Once it’s in the glass, a lovely reverse rainstorm of CO2 floats its way to the top of the cup. It looks like a damn Willy Wonka drink, if Wonka wanted to get kids drunk instead of murder them.
It tastes almost like the real thing — a little more syrupy, but it’s sweet and there’s only a slight hint of the neutral spirits that give it its 5 percent ABV kick. Did I say sweet? Hooo boy, is it sweet.
The aftertaste is a fine layer of Splenda, but I actually am digging it. For a drink that clocks in with the same ABV (5 percent) and calories (100) of a White Claw, there’s a whole lot more flavor.
And since it’s a pretty solid approximation of Mountain Dew, you already know and probably like those flavors. This isn’t rolling the dice with calamansi or blood orange. This is the foundation drink you pounded alongside a Mexican pizza and three Crunchwraps because you don’t have any self control, you monster.
4
Baja Blast Pineapple
This pours a very Dew-ish neon yellow/green. I’d be concerned if it weren’t Mountain Dew and radioactive goop weren’t the common denominator. There’s a little pineapple scent off the top, but nothing overpowering.
The fruit taste is surprisingly subtle for Hard MTN Dew. But that’s a low bar, so it’s still pretty apparent. Like the fruit punch it balances heavy sweetness with a tinge of citric acid sour. I know that doesn’t sound great, but it works. This is, again, a hard seltzer that tastes like soda and delivers five percent ABV at a 100 calorie payload.
It tastes like a lighter version of Monster’s pineapple energy drink.
5
Black Cherry
The review (from 2022):
Oh my goodness, another straight-up candy smell out of the can. I’m a little wary of black cherry since, with booze involved, you too often wind up with something that tastes like cough syrup.
This hits that a little, and the sweetness leaves it a little sloppier and not nearly as crisp as the cherry offerings of, say High Noon. It’s not as drinkable as Baja Blast or watermelon, but holy crap, it tastes great when you come back to it after five minutes. Sweet and tasty and with few indications this has the booze content of a typical beer inside.
6
Baja Blast Mango
This pours in a color I can only describe as Cincinnati Bengals orange. It is troubling. But it smells like actual mango, which is true to form. All the artificial flavors in the Hard MTN Dew repertoire all smell moderately legit on first sniff.
It’s very sweet but the mango is well balanced against what seems to be a current of regular Mountain Dew. There’s a little twinge of booze at the edge of each sip but like the rest of the lineup it doesn’t really feel like an alcoholic beverage.
7
Original
The review (from 2022):
Oh yeah, there’s the “I drank radioactive dye before this hospital visit” urine color of Mountain Dew. It smells exactly like the real thing, too. Mountain Dew, that is. Not urine. This is a promising start.
There’s more evidence there’s booze in this one, maybe because regular Mountain Dew is much more recognizable than its spinoffs (unless you’re the kind of lunatic that eats Taco Bell every day, in which case, congratulations on your stainless steel intestines). It’s a little sweeter and more syrupy than the alternative.
There’s also something a little… smoky? about it. It’s still plenty drinkable, but having tried it after watermelon and Baja Blast makes it seem much weaker by comparison.
8
Livewire
It pours just like orange soda. It’s an unnatural tangerine color that’s simultaneously concerning and inviting. And it smells that way too — like Orange Crush with just a faint whiff of alcohol.
That holds true. The booze is a little more apparent in the Livewire than any of the other flavors except possibly the original. That’s not a problem, but there’s a syrupy sweetness that clashes with it to make it weaker than the other offerings. It would really benefit from a little vanilla to balance it off with a creamsicle flavor, but instead it’s a little too reminiscent of a weak cocktail you’d make in college. The carbonation doesn’t seem to hold up as well here as it does in the other flavors either, making this feel a little more … slimy and syrupy.
It’s not bad, of course. It’s still easy enough to drink. It’s just a little underwhelming in comparison to the other arrows in Hard Dew’s quiver.
