Honesty time: As we sit here waiting for a verdict on one Deshaun Watson case, a moment that could very well leave us again disappointed in and cynical of the league we cover, the kind of moment that makes you think, What are we even doing here, man? we get distracted by a flurry of new helmets dropped over the weekend. I texted editor Mitch Goldich and said: Let’s rank them. It’s a weird moment, to notice both a personal excitement about a new feature of this year in a league that I’ve watched religiously for more than a decade, and that twinge of unsettling news in the back of your mind; like, are we the marks? Are we falling for the distraction?
And maybe just keeping that in mind is important. The NFL can be both fun and disappointing. No one person, place, object or idea is wholly perfect or imperfect. We can enjoy the following exercise while remaining skeptical of the very same enterprise.
This list combines both new alternates and old throwbacks that will see the field in 2022.
1. Bengals
Cincinnati defined a very understated type of cool last year during its playoff run. The ghostly black-and-white helmets bolster the look and feel of a team populated by young, exciting stars. The White Tiger aesthetic is especially refreshing given how rarely the Bengals come to mind for this sort of thing. Cincinnati has incredible throwback potential but, through the tail end of the Marvin Lewis era, seemed trapped in a stylistic holding pattern. Joe Burrow can pull off White Tiger. Andy Dalton? Maybe not so much.
2. Giants
I’ll understand any and all protests about this uniform being so high. It’s simply a personal bias. I think the Giants’ uniforms of the Lawrence Taylor, Mark Bavaro, Phil Simms era are one of the cleanest looks in sports. The script NY helmets underplay the grandiosity of the franchise and the name itself … GIANTS. If my team were called the Giants, I’d want Giants written on everything. Chin straps. Knee pads. Girdles. Socks. This was the true power era of the franchise, despite the fact that it won half of its Super Bowls in the Script NY era. Unfortunately, the Script NY era is also a time when the franchise lost its way and began a string of disappointing seasons at the tail end of Eli Manning’s career and beyond. If I were Brian Daboll, I would have agreed to become head coach only if they let me go back to the old uniforms.
3. Falcons
Down below, I talk about a uniform bias I have against alternate red helmets. Red helmets, or alternate red jerseys, automatically get associated with Christmas in my mind and, thus, seem out of place when not worn around the holidays. The only exception is if that alternate red is paired with black. The Falcons have recently waded into hideous gradient uniform territory instead of docking the ship sensibly in their own roots. The red alternate helmet calls back the franchise’s early years modernly and responsibly, as well as the 2009 to ’12 seasons, when the red alternate was worn eight times.
4. Bears
We would have considered putting the Bears No. 1 on this list had they not paired the orange helmets with orange alternate jerseys. This is simply too much orange, and unless Guy Fieri is playing slot receiver (which may be an upgrade for the Bears at this point) it’ll be difficult to pull off. The only hope is that opposing defenses momentarily believe this is a noncontact practice uniform and spare Justin Fields if they get into the backfield.
5. Saints
The Saints followed a similar path to many teams on this list and went with the alternate black look. However, they stood out among that subgroup by making the middle stripe a bunch of miniature versions of the team’s logo. This combines a lot of the best helmet tricks in sports into one satisfying bundle. The little fleurs-de-lis are kind of a tidied collection of buckeye stickers like we see on the Ohio State helmet. The stripe itself pulls into a triangular, mohawk shape in the back, giving them a Michigan/Princeton type vibe as well. If you are going to abandon gold helmets, which are the best uniform property in all of sports, you have to nail the dismount. The Saints have done that here.
6. Panthers
This is a fine alternative because it allows the silhouette of the Panther to remain in black, and only get outlined in the teal. This is similar to a trend of college helmets we saw a few years back (Boise State pictured here) that bring a sort of heft to the logo and make it feel like a special occasion, less a permanent third jersey alternate. Teal, like Calabrian chili oil, is very effective when used sparingly.
7. Texans
A strange nitpick for me and something I simply cannot get past: Any red alternates feel Christmas adjacent to me. The Texans did nothing wrong here. We love the Bears, Falcons and Bengals for peeling an understated color from their scheme and making it a dominant showcase. Houston simply gets penalized for the red. If these uniforms are trotted out sometime in mid-September, I’m already thinking about setting up the tree, shoveling snow and unstringing the lights. If you, too, suffer from red-Christmas-itis, know that you’re not alone.
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8. Patriots
It’s hard to believe the Patriots have not worn their alternate uniforms in a decade. New England used them sparingly between the early 1990s through the Tom Brady era. Now, they’re back. While we’d love to see a fresh take on the Drew Bledsoe–era and the royal blues, or a greater integration of the wild, patriotic ’70s diner sign font they used to have, there is nothing wrong with polishing a classic.
9. Cardinals
While college football has been ahead on this trend for years, the fact that Arizona has essentially cribbed some of Louisville’s middle-tier helmet designs knocks them down a peg here. The NCAA Cardinals, who share the angry red bird mascot (but with teeth!) have been dominating the uniform space for a while now (go back to the early 1980s and prepare to be amazed). The Arizona Cardinals have had lame-ish uniforms for decades now, and minus a complete and total aggressive rebrand, it’s hard to imagine anything changing the scheme they’re boxed into.
10. Cowboys
The Cowboys’ alternates are O.K., but ultimately pale in comparison to their initial old-school throwback to the white helmet with the blue star. What we’re seeing this year is a bit of a modern take on the helmets we already fawned over. While I’m very happy for the “let’s add a stripe” guy in their marketing room who ended up netting the big win here, I think they could have gone in a different direction. While browsing fan-made Cowboys alternate helmet concepts, I saw an arctic camouflage look that would have made for a strong statement.
11. Eagles
It’s strange how some aesthetic changes can hit the eye. The Bengals are No. 1 on this list by simply changing the orange part of their helmets to white. The Eagles are No. 11 on this list simply by changing the green part of their helmets to black. At least in one person’s point of view, with most of the new-helmet teams making the obvious pivot to black helmets, which always look cool, the wow factor gets a bit diminished on a global scale. What do I mean by that? I think an individual fan base, which cares about only one particular helmet, is going to love a pivot to black. But, as a cantankerous NFL writer tasked with looking at all helmets, I am less willing to give out style points when most other teams have made a similar decision.
12. Jets
Back in 2019, when I reviewed the Jets’ uniforms, one major regret was not professing enough love for the team’s helmet from 1990 to ’97, which was green with “Jets” written out in white and the little Jet tail on top. The same could be said for their helmets from ’63, which had “JETS” written inside an actual Jet. Very cool. I think there was an opportunity to go full throwback here that was passed upon. There is an obvious desire for the Jets to pivot away from their past, which is largely one of football futility, but there is something to the idea of revisiting their first year as the Jets (’63) or the ’90s, which most of us of the generations that actually care about helmet changes are going to be nostalgic for.
13. Commanders
The Commanders just rebranded, and so they had no nostalgia to safely tap into. This ultimately feels like a cash grab, so far be it from me to tell a capitalistic enterprise to sit out a good opportunity. But the same uninspiring “W” simply moves to the front of the helmet, and then the Commanders throw the jersey number on the sides of the respective helmet. My major gripe here? Jersey numbers on the sides of helmets are a distinctly old-school flourish. It’s tough to grasp what amounts to a “new” team helmet with no history attached to it. I feel the same way about these helmets as I feel about most attempts at farmhouse chic, in that the quest to modernize something old gets lost in the fact that your house was built in 2007.
