A war hero's family have spoken of the crippling costs of providing him and his wife with care. Keith Fretwall talked about the 'painful' decision to enter his parents, who both have dementia, into a care home.
His father Wilfred, who turns 100 on November 22, and 97-year-old mother Margaret, are now receiving the specialist care they require after their deteriorating mental capabilities meant their safety could no longer be guaranteed with home visits from carers. Keith says he and wife Diane have spent "hundreds of thousands of pounds" of their life savings on extra expenses for his mum and dad.
He told DerbyshireLive that, over the last five years, his family has paid in excess of £8,000 a month to keep their parents at home - approximately £400,000 in total. His mother and father's house is due to be sold now to help fund their ongoing care at a home.
Keith, 75, says his always prudent father would be heartbroken if he was well enough to understand how much of his family's money had been spent on the care of him and his wife. He said: "He's not all that aware of what's happening to him now. He's developed dementia both mum and dad have they're in a care home at the moment, it's only recently that he's gone there. We and my two brothers Roy and Derrick have all done our bit, and we visit often.
"But the maddening thing is my father has always been a prudent man saved his money. I wouldn't like to tell you how many hundreds of thousands have gone to pot, and their empty home is going to have to be sold soon. We're so grateful he has no idea, if he knew what was happening, he would be heartbroken - there's nothing left.
"He volunteered for service during the war, he didn't wait for his call up. He wanted to be in the RAF. As a family, we didn't know very much about what he did during the war. He didn't talk about it at all. If we mentioned anything, he changed the subject."
Keith, a cabinet maker and engineer, said: "I know two months ago the monthly bill was £8,800 a month for home care four times a day. That is since 2016, 2017 - so five years of that, sort of.
"Now we're looking at £1,100 a week for each of them at the care home. That's what we first negotiated, plus the additional things they’ve supplied at the home."
Originally from Sheffield, Wilfred settled in Ilkeston and then Heanor after the Second World War. He was part of a "dangerous top secret" RAF mission to supply Russian allies with Hampden planes flown over enemy territory in September 1942, for which he earned the Arctic Star medal.
Diane spoke about how the decision to place her father-in-law into a home had affected her emotionally. She said: "Keith and I are both in our seventies, and we kept them in their own home with carer visits right up until the beginning of July. The carers in the end didn't feel that they were safe, and they needed help at night.
"The decision was incredibly painful. I've got so many friends that are my age that have had to make the same decision, and it affects you horribly emotionally. You feel so much guilt. We shouldn't feel it, but we do."
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