The second season of The White Lotus was so rapturously received that the third was always going to be a big deal. The new cast is probably the best yet, HBO has been carefully stoking the flames of anticipation since August and early reviews have been positively vibrating with praise. For a moment there, it felt like The White Lotus could do no wrong.
Then it actually began and all hell broke loose. The problem? The theme tune. In seasons one and two, The White Lotus had the best theme tune on television. Aloha!, Cristobal Tapia de Veer’s season one title music, was a beguiling mix of tribal drums and a form of vocalisation that lived somewhere between throat singing and gargling. Season two’s theme song miraculously managed to improve on the formula, remixing the vocal melody into a track that was simultaneously more operatic and clubby than the first. The theme tune won an Emmy. It was such a banger that Peloton instructors started playing it in class; you could never say that of something like Homeland.
And yet the wheels have now apparently come off. As Sunday’s season three premiere aired, viewers realised that there was a new theme tune, and it wasn’t as good as the last two. Inevitably, Redditors took to their keyboards to express their undying outrage. “Not to be dramatic, but the new theme song has quite literally ruined my whole weekend,” whined one user. “My disappointment is immeasurable,” yelped another. X, meanwhile, reacted to the new theme tune with gifs of (in no particular order) a toddler throwing a tantrum, Kate Hudson being held back during an argument, Mr Blobby flapping his arms dejectedly on a staircase and Jennifer Coolidge looking stunned. Which, you have to admit, is a hilarious way to react to a show about dangerously entitled westerners who struggle to adapt when presented with a new experience.
Which isn’t to say that it’s a bad theme tune. Once again composed by Tapia de Veer, the track could only have been scored for The White Lotus. It’s percussive and weird, this time led by what sounds like an accordion, full of handclaps that build to a vaguely ravey climax. However, it is noticeably darker in tone to the previous scores, underlaid with an ominous hum. And then there’s the biggest crime of all: it’s fairly difficult to sing along to.
As well written and acted as seasons one and two were, the main thrill of The White Lotus was joining in with the vocal line of the theme tune, which you could do by sticking out your tongue and waggling it from side to side as you sang. If you got it right, which took time, you ended up sounding a bit like the goat from the Taylor Swift meme suffering from a terminal bout of hiccups. Which is cool, right? It’s impossible to dislike a show that just made you involuntarily warble with your tongue out.
There’s a tiny bit of this in the new theme tune, but it’s quite far down in the mix and is generally less “wobble your tongue about” and more “hyperventilate uncontrollably”, which is much less fun. So if you’re a detractor, I get your point.
However, I must disagree. First, changing the theme tune is probably good for the show’s longevity. The White Lotus is a drama with a schematic so well-worn – tourists go on holiday, tourists are awful, one ends up dead – that diminishing returns will undoubtedly creep in unless something is done to mix it up a bit. A new theme tune is a sign that the show is prepared to create unpopular opinions to secure its own future, which is encouraging. Also, Mike White has long said that the overarching theme of this season is death, so it makes sense for the theme tune to pull back on the whimsy a little. Perhaps, had he kept the tongue waggling, it would have been too jarring for the meat of the show itself.
Last, and this forms part of my grand unified theory of the show, The White Lotus is and always has been a cumulative experience. Every season starts slowly, and builds to a point of abject lunacy. In season one it was a man pooping in a suitcase, in season two it was the fate of Jennifer Coolidge, and season three’s remains to be seen – but, if we know the show, it’s bound to be ridiculous and explosive.
Either way, early on in each run, people complain that The White Lotus has lost its edge. It hasn’t. It just trusts viewers to be patient enough to wait for the good stuff. The same goes for the theme tune. It might be strange and jarring to hear something new at first, but give it time. Two months from now, I guarantee that you won’t be able to get the thing out of your head.
The White Lotus season three is on Sky Atlantic in the UK and HBO in the US, and is on Foxtel and Binge in Australia.
