For Yasmin Zemmoura becoming a mum is something that she always knew she wanted in life, and despite having never met 'the one', the radio presenter isn't letting that get in her way.
Better known as Yazz, host of Q Radio's mid-morning show, the Scottish native is currently undergoing IVF to fulfill her dream of becoming a mum.
Speaking to Be, Yazz opened up about the highs and lows of the process so far and why she is happy with her decision to become a solo mum by choice.
Read more: NI doctor's warning to parents as RSV cases rise
"I've always, always had that longing [to be a mother], and even though I've been single for most of my life and maybe in my mid-30s, in my head I thought then I would maybe meet somebody. I didn't really want that in my 20s, I did want to be a mum, just not in my 20s.
"We've all got a plan I suppose in our heads and it never normally works out the way we want it to. But I didn't meet someone in my 30s and that feeling never leaves you, that longing to be a mum, it really just doesn't leave you. In some sense, I do wish there was a switch that you could turn off if it isn't going to go your way, but it's just something that really doesn't," added Yazz.
The 43-year-old says she can trace that longing for a mum back to when she undertook an experiment as part of a radio show a decade ago.
"As part of a breakfast show in Aberdeen 10 years ago, I remember having to look after one of the babies you know that they give the couples on Love Island, and I had to look after one for three days. I remember having to give it back after the third day and I was really missing the baby that wasn't real. I remember questioning myself thinking why am I feeling like this? But I think that feeling of being needed, it's a really nice feeling when it comes from a baby, rather than from a guy, if I was with a guy who was needy I'd run in the other direction.
"But it's a lovely feeling and I've just always, always wanted to be a mum. In my mid-30s towards my 40s, I started to panic a little thinking is this ever going to happen for me?"
With her biological clock ticking, Yazz undertook the brave decision to become a solo mum by choice, and during lockdown began to pursue the route of IVF having read a story of a woman in her 40s from Dublin who had gone down a similar path.
"After reading this woman's story it just spurred me on during lockdown, and I think if it wasn't for lockdown I probably wouldn't have been able to do it financially because obviously the age I am and the route I am taking, I wouldn't have been eligible to go down the NHS route so it was never an option.
"And it hasn't been cheap I've had to take a loan out as well as saving. I'm not a saver but lockdown helped me save because I wasn't going out I wasn't doing anything with the money I was making each month."
Having initially wanted to go down the IUI route, tests found that Yazz only had one fallopian tube working properly so it was decided that IVF would give her the best chance to conceive.
"There were a few hurdles along the way before I got that test as I had to have polyps removed, but when it came back they only saw that one fallopian tube was working, now it might have spasmed it might have been blocked but they just thought let's forget about that and go straight to IVF. It is more expensive but obviously, it's got a higher success rate so we thought let's just do that," added Yazz.
Her first course of IVF retrieved 11 eggs but unfortunately due to what seemed to be an issue with the donated sperm, Yazz had failed fertilisation.
She explained: "The first round I had 11 eggs and you obviously need your eggs to be mature to fertilise, I had ten which were mature which I thought was a really good number, but I got a failed fertilisation the next day which was weird, and they thought it was weird too as it very rarely happens.
"What had happened was that someone else had the same donor as me so they thought it was more to do with the sperm than my eggs so they gave me a credit note for the sperm bank as I didn't want to go with that donor anymore."
Her second attempt in February this year retrieved six mature eggs and she had one ready to transfer on day five.
"Basically the retrieval [of the egg] is day zero and then you're trying to get to day five with your eggs, you want a fertilised embryo so you want to make it to day five with that blastocyst stage. On that second cycle, I got one [egg] to transfer, and it was great my mum came over from Scotland and she got to come into the theatre with me and it just didn't stick. You're just hoping it does but it didn't sadly."
Having underwent the process for a third time just six weeks ago, Yazz got six eggs, but wasn't able to transfer due to needing another polyp removed, so she has that embryo frozen at present.
"I've been trying so much to up the quality of them [my eggs], taking supplements and whatnot, but this time as well they found what they thought was another polyp, and I got one to transfer but they decided not to do a fresh transfer this time, they put it in the freezer and then get rid of the polyp which I had removed about three weeks ago.
"So I've got this little frozen embryo, it's half Norwegian, I'm just hoping this one works out."
The radio host has recently released a podcast entitled, 'Worth Every Shot' , to chart her own journey through IVF and opens up the discussion surrounding fertility to others.
"It has been such a rollercoaster and it's not been an easy decision to make but as a woman you have that clock, you feel like time is running out and I just made the decision to do this on my own, and luckily I've got a great support network. I've done a lot on my own over the years and in some ways, there are slight advantages to doing it on your own.
"I've had so many strangers contact me and obviously listeners as well I'm really happy with the response, very overwhelmed as well. Don't get me wrong I do want to meet someone, but it's a totally different thing now, I'll meet someone but I'll just be a solo mum by choice. It feels almost liberating, like when you do anything on your own but it's the biggest thing I've ever done, it's the biggest decision I've ever made," she added.
You can listen to Yazz's Podcast HERE.
READ NEXT:
Belfast same-sex couple's joy at welcoming triplets after previous heartbreak
Belfast MLA shares pregnancy joy after 'emotional and difficult times'
Formerly conjoined twins recovering well after separation surgery
Paddy McGurgan on shedding over 12 stone and why his new makeup is for everyone
For all the latest news, visit the Belfast Live homepage here. To sign up to our FREE newsletters, see here.
