Get all your news in one place.
100’s of premium titles.
One app.
Start reading
The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Travel
Jon Holmes

Put the flags out for Talkeetna, Alaska, says writer and comedian Jon Holmes

Talkeetna Moose Dropping Festival parade
Poo-pooing the parade … the Talkeetna Moose Dropping festival. Photograph: Alamy

If you plant a flag a mile from the centre of town, next to the railroad that reaches its remote metal tendrils out across the great nothingness of Alaska, one of America’s last flagstop trains will apply its brakes to ensure it comes to a halt in time to pick you up from the tiny trading post of Talkeetna: population 876.

Each resident will welcome you with open arms, a warm smile and a can of anti-grizzly pepper spray that would surely be useless should an angry bear get close enough for to you to have to use it. Talkeetna is the base for expeditions into the wilderness: 10,000 square miles of Denali national park with Mount McKinley, the US’s highest mountain, at its centre. In winter, it can be as cold as -40F, but in summer I sat in shirtsleeves at the town microbrewery listening to locals’ tales of the Talkeetna Moose Dropping festival, a celebration of the creature’s dung. Lumps of moose poo are dried, varnished and individually numbered, before being dropped from a chopper as a kind of town lottery.

Stream in the Talkeetna mountains, Alska.
Stream in the Talkeetna mountains. Photograph: Stefan Arendt/Corbis

For a tiny town, it certainly courted controversy when US animal rights activists got the wrong end of the (presumably shitty) stick and tried to put an end to it, thinking that the festival involved lobbing the animals from helicopters, rather than their droppings. Long dark nights can last up to 19 hours out here, you have to make your own entertainment.

A Portrait of an Idiot as a Young Man by Jon Holmes (Orion, 12.99) is out now. To order a copy for £10.39 including UK p&p call 0330 333 6846 or visit bookshop.theguardian.com

Sign up to read this article
Read news from 100’s of titles, curated specifically for you.
Already a member? Sign in here
Related Stories
Top stories on inkl right now
One subscription that gives you access to news from hundreds of sites
Already a member? Sign in here
Our Picks
Fourteen days free
Download the app
One app. One membership.
100+ trusted global sources.