The Queen's death has provoked feelings of grief and dismay in people across the world. For supporters of the Royal family, her death marks the end of a long, noble reign. For many, the loss of the nation's monarch is akin to the death of a grandmother or maternal figure.
And for those already in the throes of grief, her passing may have compounded the difficult emotions they were already feeling, regardless of their relationship with the Queen. As such, many have struggled to watch their grief mirrored on TV screens, as the Royal family mourns the Queen, and her coffin is carried across the country, before she makes her final journey during her state funeral on Monday, September 19.
Get the news you want straight to your inbox. Sign up for a Mirror newsletter here
But all of these feelings are to be expected, according to a psychologist, who hopes to help those suffering.
Talking to The Mirror, Untangle psychologist Dr Elizabeth Paddock shared advice for anyone who has been affected or may be during the Queen's funeral, and she addressed some of the differing reasons behind such responses.
The expert began by explaining it is possible to feel grief for someone you have never met, particularly in light of the current circumstances.
"T his time is known as collective grief, whereby people can come together to mourn," she explained. " It's very common and understandable to feel grief and sorrow for someone we may never have met."
She added there may be many reasons why Her Majesty's death has had a "profound impact" on the public. Expanding on a few, the expert noted: " She has been present during every significant event and celebration for the whole country. It does make sense to feel the loss of her presence. Her death also marks a period of change for the nation. It may feel like another destabilising factor in an already turbulent year."
Dr Paddock said recent events could also make people reflect on their own losses, which for some brings to mind the extreme challenges of the pandemic.
"We've also heard from the community that some of them have felt difficult emotions around watching [grief] but also thinking about the support that is accessible to the family at this time, where they maybe didn't have that same experience. Maybe during Covid they weren't allowed to attend their loved one's funeral or they weren't allowed to be with their loved ones when they passed away," she explained.
With so much focus on the Royal family, and the Queen's children and grandchildren, events can also remind people of the grief they watched their family members experience.
But she also spoke to the personal nature of grief, despite loss being something we must all face in our lives. "T he response to the loss is going to be unique to each person," she emphasised.
For some, the response is physical. "P hysical reactions may include nausea, headaches, insomnia, fatigue," said Dr Paddock. It can also include a range of emotions including sadness, anger, jealousy, guilt, and shame.
As such, it is important to deal with it in the way you best see fit something she wishes to remind people ahead of Her Majesty's funeral.
She said: "With the funeral taking up a large amount of the day on the television, it's about reminding people that it can be quite difficult to keep your mind on reality when the country is mourning.
"Grief is that huge trauma, and you may be reeling from the shock of your own loss but also this loss in the nation. So, be patient with yourself and do whatever you need to do on Monday."
She added: "T he most important way to help yourself while grieving is to take care of yourself and your needs, being aware of how you're feeling."
None of which is to say that the process is easy or simple. "For many of us talking about loss is an incredibly painful and difficult thing," Dr Paddock acknowledged.
As the expert points out, these emotions may also continue after the funeral - and this should not be forgotten.
"We find it difficult as a nation to talk about how we're feeling, especially with the processes around grief and loss," she said. "It's kind of the perception that okay, we've lost someone, we've had a funeral, and now we kind of get back to our lives. But we know that grief doesn't have a magic end point."
But she does have hope that the national mourning period will help people to feel that they can start to open up if they wish to. And people have already reported sharing in helpful conversations since.
"Some people have said that it's nice because people have reached out and colleagues are wanting to speak about the Queen's passing, and now that's allowing them the conversation to talk about their own losses," she revealed.
