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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
Courtney Pochin

Psychologist shares important '12-minute rule' for speaking to your family each day

These days, it's so easy to shoot off a text or WhatsApp message to our loved ones and not chat with them properly for a while, especially if you also don't happen to live nearby.

But according to an expert, this 'throwaway behaviour' of texting won't help strengthen our emotional connections with friends and family.

Behavioural psychologist Jo Hemmings has partnered with Tesco Mobile to share how beneficial talking on the phone is for our well-being, claiming to have pinpointed the exact amount of time we should be spending on a call or on video chat each day with our nearest and dearest.

The expert says that being on the phone for as little as 12 minutes a day can help reduce our stress levels and bring us closer to others and claims that getting your '12-a-day' is just as important as getting your 5-a-day of fruit and veg.

Talking on the phone or a video call for 12-minutes a day is good for your well-being (stock photo) (Getty Images)

Jo explained: "It's really easy to send a quick text or WhatsApp message and it's a great way to have a quick check-in, but nothing beats an old-fashioned phone call when it comes to our wellness and sense of being connected when an in-person meet is not possible. There's no missed sarcasm!

"When we speak to our loved ones, we release chemicals including serotonin (your natural feel-good chemical), dopamine (triggering memories), endorphins (relieving stress and anxiety), and oxytocin (our bonding hormone). Connecting with others is mood-boosting.

"Given these factors, a daily 12-minute chat, call, or video call to loved ones ticks many boxes in terms of well-being, whatever your age, and is the ideal time to express love and appreciation, whilst catching up and sharing personal updates.

"Everybody knows the importance of ensuring they get their 5-a-day of fruit and veg, but now we really should be considering the '12-a-day' we need to spend speaking to loved ones too."

She continued: "Video calls are also great as you can speak to loved ones on the go, wherever you are and your brain actually reacts in a similar way to video calls as to a real-life encounter. Seeing familiar faces on your phone screen, whether they're friends, or family, will activate your brain in the same way as seeing them in the flesh."

Talking on the phone or a video call is so much better for us than shooting off a text message (Getty Images/Westend61)

Jo went on to share some of her top tips for staying connected with loved ones as well as some of the most helpful phrases you can use during your 12-minute call to really strengthen your bond.

"Supportive phrases like 'You can do it', 'I believe in you''and 'I have your back' are always helpful in strengthening bonds," she told The Mirror.

"Reassuring words, indicating that you will be there for someone when they need it or simply ending a call with 'I love you' is also the best form of positive reinforcement to maintain strong connections."

It's also worth considering which topics to avoid during your chat to ensure you're really getting your stress levels down.

"A lot of this is down to your intuition, how well you know the person, and how the conversation is going," she explains. "If you sense that someone doesn't want to talk about a topic or know that they may be sensitive to it, avoid mentioning it.

"Think of the 3 P's to engage in the most stress-free call – be present, personable, and patient."

The expert added that it was important to be 'fully engaged' and in the moment when you're on a call, in order to get the most out of it. Don't let yourself get distracted by emails or what's happening around you.

This comes as Tesco Mobile is raising awareness of the importance of connectivity as without it, there can be negative effects on our wellbeing.

Tesco Mobile is working with the Trussell Trust to keep people facing hardship connected through their Little Helps Databank, which is like a food bank, but for data.

Through the partnership, the network will be donating data-loaded Sim cards to people referred to the food banks, so they can stay connected to loved ones and access vital support services.

This comes as part of Tesco Mobile's long-term commitment to help connect 50,000 people by end of 2024.

To find out about how to get involved, visit https://www.tescomobile.com/why-tesco-mobile/little-helps/connected-communities

Do you have a story to share? We want to hear all about it. Email courtney.pochin@mirror.co.uk

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