I really don’t enjoy the feeling of déjà vu.
Some fellas on the internet claim that there are an infinite number of timelines and realities that run concurrently.
They say that the present you is a construct of both the past and the future you; and you exist in both, simultaneously. Or that might have been a movie I saw.
Academics at the university of TikTok often explain that feeling that you are living through something for a second time as a glitch in the matrix.
On one plane of consciousness you might be eating a bag of Wotsits while watching Eastenders, but in another you could be surfing in a volcano or fighting a triceratops. I think that’s how it works anyway…
Anyway, the reason I mention déjà vu is because there was definitely some sort of glitch in the matrix at this week’s FMQs. It felt very much like watching a repeat. But not in a beloved sitcom kind of way. It was the sort of session that prompted you to consider what evil deeds you must have committed on a different timeline of an alternate universe to deserve such a punishment.
Douglas Ross kicked things off by asking the First Minister, again, if double-rapist Isla Bryson is a woman. Once again, she didn’t answer the question directly. And once again, Douglas Ross was very annoyed about it. He then asked if criminal Tiffany Scott is a woman. In response, Nicola Sturgeon said that "those in the prison estate are dealt with depending the nature of the crime and the nature of the risk posed – that is demonstrated by the two cases cited here today.’’
After the exchanges between the First Minister and Scottish Tory leader had concluded, there were shouts from the public gallery.
You’ve guessed it: there was yet another protest in the public gallery – the gazillionth one this year – and business had to be suspended while the protester was hauled out.
At this point, my spidey senses were tingling. Didn’t we go thorough this exact sequence of events last week? Had I taken a wrong turn somewhere on BBC iPlayer and ended up in the past?
Last week Anas Sarwar and the First Minister squared off about council funding.
At FMQs this week Anas Sarwar began by saying: "This SNP government is leaving councils the length and breadth of Scotland in a dire position. Despite what Nicola Sturgeon claims, independent analysis shows that the budgets councils have control over have been cut by £304m in real terms.’’ Okay. So far, so spookily similar. But all is not lost.
Last week, Nicola Sturgeon’s retort to Anas Sarwar was that it’s all well and good saying that councils need more money, but where does Scottish Labour propose the Scottish Government cut funding elsewhere to pay for it?
This week – for the sake of our sanity – surely Nicola Sturgeon would mix things up a bit?
The First Minister rose to her feet and the nation held its collective breath.
"Of course, last week, I invited Anas Sarwar to point to other parts of the budget that he thought we could take resources from if he wants us to give more money to local government. He may have sent those to my office, I don’t know, in which case I will look at those – but I suspect he hasn’t come up with any reasonable or realistic or credible proposals to do that.’’
Please join me back here next week when my FMQs round-up hopefully won’t just be a copy and paste job of this week’s.
