He’s the Prince of Wales, the future king, Kate’s husband, and George, Charlotte, and Louis’ dad—but it’s hard to imagine any title mattering more to Prince William than one recently bestowed upon him: World’s Sexiest Bald Man 2023.
To take the coveted title, William dethroned Vin Diesel from the top spot; other top contenders include Jason Statham and Jeff Bezos. The ranking, compiled by Reboot and based on how many internet searches people undertook for either “shirtless” or “naked” photos of bald men like the four mentioned above (wait, what?), was reported on by The Mirror.
The internet searches check mark was only one of the criteria. Reboot’s study then analyzed famous bald men’s height, net worth, and how closely they align with the mathematical “golden ratio,” which supposedly shows the “ideal” proportions used in famous pieces of art. (These lovely people obviously have way too much time on their hands because) They then used another metric, the “shine factor,” to determine the radiance of each contender’s scalp. This is serious business, people.
But that’s not all! You thought all of that was enough criteria to crown the World’s Sexiest Bald Man 2023? No chance. The research then continued by checking the average frequency of their voice, checking to see how close it is to the supposed ideal of 96 hertz—a few hertz below the worldwide male average. “William took the top spot, but the researchers also claimed he is considerably more sexy than the other high-ranking contenders,” The Mirror reports.
Bezos jumped up to No. 5 this year, likely because of his recent Vogue photoshoot with fiancée Lauren Sanchez, The Mirror surmises. Diesel, Statham, and Shemar Moore are year-to-year fixtures on this list.
Without further ado, the top 10 of the World’s Sexiest Bald Man 2023 contest.
No. 1: Prince William (9.88)
No. 2: Vin Diesel (8.81)
No. 3: Jason Statham (8.51)
No. 4: Samuel L. Jackson (7.31)
No. 5: Jeff Bezos (7.12)
No. 6: Michael Jordan (7.95)
No. 7: Dwayne Johnson (6.90)
No. 8: Shemar Moore (6.75)
No. 9: Shaquille O’Neal (6.50)
No. 10: Terry Crews (6.32)
Don’t say you didn’t learn anything today.
