Have you ever put in countless hours preparing for something important, only to have everything go wrong when it’s showtime?
You're not alone; it happens to everyone.
And while you’d be forgiven for chalking this up to bad luck, new evidence indicates that a major reason why we choke under pressure is because our uncontrolled fears are causing us to unknowingly set ourselves up for failure by avoiding the very elements we need to rehearse.
Let me explain.
Ironically, sometimes the more we care about doing well, the more anxiety we feel and the greater the risk that we’ll become our own worst enemy.
My colleagues and I recently conducted a study that shows how this process works among high school students who are getting ready to take an AP calculus exam. This study, led by Jalisha Jenifer, a postdoctoral researcher in my lab, pinpoints why some students who spend many hours studying can still walk into tests unprepared.
By surveying 190 students and analyzing the data, we discovered that math-anxious young people have different study strategies compared to their peers who do not report being anxious about math. Specifically, we found that high schoolers who are particularly apprehensive about math tend to skip solving the most difficult math problems when studying. Those who fear math the most tend to study in ways that require less effort – basically, they take it easy on themselves to keep their anxiety levels in check.
Our current research and previous studies we’ve conducted strongly suggest that math avoidance negatively impacts future math performance because, while avoiding something that intimidates you is perfectly understandable, you’ll never become better at math by sticking with what you already know well.
And I suspect this finding isn’t limited to just one subject.
In fact, it’s venturing outside your comfort zone that allows you to develop the ability to solve new types of problems in most areas of life. So don’t relinquish control to an outsized fear of failure – be bold!
Here are a few tips to get you started:
Do Exactly What Makes You Nervous - Remind yourselves that if you don’t take risks, you can’t grow. Then commit to attempting at least a few new things that you aren’t likely to master right away. You’ll feel a huge sense of pride when you stretch yourself to reach ambitious goals.
Imagine the Worst-Case Scenario - Take a few moments to think about all the possible outcomes, and the likelihood they’ll occur. Even the most extreme negative result probably isn’t a total catastrophe. Journaling the details can be cathartic. Try to be realistic, though. If your friend was facing the same situation, how would you advise him or her?
Remind Yourself that Everyone Makes Mistakes - Though Thomas Edison famously said “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work,” the vast majority of people who’ve accomplished great things have experienced spectacular failure in a public way. A mistake can be a learning experience or a crushing setback depending on how you react to it.
If you’ve let perfectionism hold you back in the past, it’s never too late to turn over a new leaf. The desire to be right 100% of the time can be paralyzing, but the possibility of making a mistake – even a big one – should not determine your life decisions or self worth.
We should all aspire to be lifelong learners – even knowing that it’s very likely we’ll fail often while developing new skills.
Just keep in mind that skipping all the hard problems on the practice test is bound to derail your long-term success.
