A ton up for Ebbsfleet
Much was made of the fact that, despite amassing more than 100 points each, only one of Wrexham or Notts County could win automatic promotion to the Football League. In the end the Welsh side prevailed, to the relief of their fans and Hollywood owners, consigning Notts County to the playoffs. In National League South, Ebbsfleet had no need to look over their shoulder as they hit the 100-point mark with one game remaining. The Kent side secured the title with four games to spare and sit 18 points clear of their nearest rivals, Dartford. Ebbsfleet’s march to promotion was masterminded by Dennis Kutrieb, a highly regarded young German who took over at Stonebridge Roadin June 2020, three months after the National League season was halted by the pandemic. Ebbsfleet were relegated by 0.002 of a point when clubs agreed to end the season on a points-per-game basis but have finally booked their return to the fifth tier.
Down, down, deeper and down for Scunthorpe
Scunthorpe dropped out of the Football League 12 months ago after a 72-year sojourn and any hopes of a quick return evaporated when they took three points from the first 21 available. The Iron have won only eight games this season, leading to back-to-back relegations and they will be playing in National League North next season. It’s a sorry demise for a club who were rubbing shoulders with Leeds, Crystal Palace, Nottingham Forest and Leicester in the Championship 12 years ago. Perhaps the high point of a largely miserable season was the successful January takeover by David Hilton, ending Peter Swann’s 10-year reign as majority shareholder. The sale went through in the month that Scunthorpe’s match against Woking was delayed for 10 minutes by a pitch invasion. Scunthorpe fans set up camp in the centre-circle at Glanford Park to protest against Swann’s ownership after the club was hit by a winding-up petition over an alleged unpaid tax bill.
You had one last job …
With his team struggling to avoid relegation from the Isthmian League South East, Faversham Town’s manager, Sammy Moore, had a good idea. The former AFC Wimbledon player persuaded his friend and former teammate Adebayo “The Beast” Akinfenwa to come out of retirement and play for the Lilywhites whenever he could fit matches around his many media commitments. During the 40-year-old’s second game – he had played 45 minutes of a 2-1 defeat at Lancing – Faversham were trailing Sittingbourne 1-0 but were thrown a 94th-minute lifeline in the form of a penalty, which Akinfenwa stepped up to take. Having lost their goalkeeper Harley Earle to injury in the incident that led to the penalty, Sittingbourne put the outfield player Harrison Pont in goal to face the spot-kick. Akinfenwa shot from 12 yards, Pont saved heroically and Faversham have since been relegated to the ninth tier. Duringsubsequent commitments on BT Sport, Akinfenwa has been gleefully andrepeatedly reminded of his failure by his fellow panellists on the Saturday afternoon goals show Score.
Simon scores four hat-tricks in a row
Although Erling Haaland has brought home six match balls this season, the Manchester City striker hasn’t scored more than two hat-tricks in consecutive matches. Get in the bin, Erling! Towards the end of March, Walton & Hersham’s striker Eddie Simon became the first player ever in the top eight tiers of English football to score four consecutive league hat-tricks. Simon pulled off this impressive feat in March, against South Park, Chertsey Town, Binfield and Uxbridge in the Isthmian League South Central Division. A dentist by profession, Simon had been unaware there was a record at stake before scoring his third goal against Uxbridge and had signalled to the bench that he wished to come off because of injury. Luckily, he bagged his third before his number went up. Despite his heroics, Simon didn’t get to keep any of the four match balls to which he was entitled, such commemorative souvenirs being far too expensive to be given away in the eighth tier of the pyramid.
Atherstone v Hinckley’s penalty shootout replay
A Midlands Premier League Cup semi-final was abandoned towards the business end of a penalty shootout after a fan encroached on the pitch and allegedly attacked one of the players. Atherstone Town were taking on local rivals Hinckley in the first “A5 Clasico” derby for four years and the teams had played out a 1-1 draw, prompting a shootout that was well under way at the Pointons Community Stadium when the referee forced the abandonment after a Hinckley fan invaded the pitch. With the match already played, Birmingham County FA declared that the teams should reconvene to replay the shootout behind closed doors. Despite missing their first two spot-kicks in the rescheduled shootout, Hinckley recovered to book their place against Whitchurch Alport in next month’s final at Walsall’s Bescot Stadium.
Grimshaw scores 500 goals for Charnock Richard
Carl Grimshaw played his last game for Charnock Richard on the final day of the North West Counties League Premier Division, with defeat by the odd goal in five against Prestwich Heys leaving his side 11th in the table. It was the end of a milestone season for the striker, who joined the Mossie Park outfit from the West Lancashire League side Eagley before the 2009-10 season and has scored more than 500 competitive goals for the club. His landmark 500th came against Squires Gate at the Brian Addison Stadium in November and the Chorley-born striker promptly celebrated by banging in his 501st. Grimshaw ended his career with the Villagers with 513 goals. “When the book is eventually written about the history of Charnock Richard Football Club, Carl’s achievements will stand out like a beacon,” said the club secretary, Dave Rowland. Get it written!
One Sunderland legend replaces another at South Shields
Less than a week after celebrating their victory in the Northern Premier League and promotion to National League North, South Shields rewarded their manager Kevin Phillips by dispensing with him after one full season in charge. Officially, Phillips left by “mutual consent”, consent that appears to have been more mutual on the part of employers whose budget does not appear to match the former Sunderland striker and European golden boot winner’s ambition. “It is vital that we remain realistic when it comes to setting budgets and utilising the best talents which are produced by our academy and that will be an important part of our strategy moving forward,” said the chairman, Geoff Thompson. Phillips has been replaced by his former Sunderland teammate Julio Arca, a Stadium of Light cult hero. The Argentinian midfielder wound down his playing career with South Shields, making 120 appearances for the club,helping them win six trophies and three promotions. Replacing Phillips marks his first step into management.
