Phillip Schofield has said he is “utterly broken” and feels “embarrassed and ashamed” about his affair with a younger male colleague, but denied grooming the man.
The former This Morning presenter, 61, resigned from ITV last week after admitting to an “unwise but not illegal relationship” with a man, who is now in his mid-20s.
In his first interview since leaving the broadcaster, Schofield said his daughters had been “guarding” him, adding: “If it hadn’t been for my girls last week I wouldn’t be here.”
He reportedly met his former lover when the man was a 15-year-old boy at drama school but said the affair did not begin until the man was much older and had begun working at ITV. Schofield was married at the time.
He told the Sun they became friends after the man started working on This Morning, adding: “I did not [groom him].
“There are accusations of all sorts of things. It never came across that way because we’d become mates.”
He said he had not thought that the affair might ruin his career. “I really probably only thought about it when I saw the rumour mill, and saw it growing. Then I saw the link with the drama school photo all those years before, and thought, ‘This looks shocking’.”
He denied lying to protect his career, saying his lover didn’t want his name in public. “He wanted his own life.”
The lies, he said, grew “bigger and bigger”, adding: “It got to the stage where it was out of control and for whatever cost, it had to stop.”
He revealed that right now, he was “in a very bad way. Mentally, utterly, utterly broken”. Schofield also said that he was feeling massive guilt and regret, and his “greatest apology” was to his former lover, for bringing the “greatest misery into his totally innocent life”.
He added: “I am deeply sorry and I apologise to him because I should have known better … I will die sorry. I am so deeply mortified.”
In a separate interview with the BBC, Schofield said that he had “lost everything” and urged the media to leave his former lover “alone now”.
“There is an innocent person here who didn’t do anything wrong, who is vulnerable and probably feels like I do,” he said.
Describing the fallout from the revelations, Schofield said: “It is relentless, and it is day after day, after day after day … Do [you] want me to die? Because that’s where I am.”
Earlier this week, the presenter denied claims there was “toxicity” on the ITV show.
MPs are reportedly planning on questioning ITV executives over the affair. The Prince’s Trust has dropped Schofield as an ambassador. He has also been dropped by his talent agency.
In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on freephone 116 123, or email jo@samaritans.org or jo@samaritans.ie. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is at 988 or chat for support. You can also text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis text line counselor. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org
