Phillip Schofield has said 'I have lost everything' in an emotionally-charged interview with the BBC detailing the aftermath of his affair with a younger former ITV colleague.
The former This Morning host said his career is now 'over' after he stood down from his ITV presenting roles last week amid allegations of grooming his young lover - which he has categorically denied.
"I have to talk about television in the past tense, which breaks my heart. I have lost everything," said Phil. "If I get through this I don't know how I move forward. What am I going to do with my days?"
"I see nothing ahead of me but blackness and sadness and regret and remorse and guilt. I did something very wrong and then I lied about it consistently... consistently lied about. You can't live with that. How do you live with that?"
After stepping down from his ITV job and cutting ties with his co-star Holly Willoughby, Phillip fled London where he was followed by his daughters Molly and Ruby.
"Last week if my daughters hadn't been there, I wouldn't be here," Phillip told BBC's Amol Rajan. "They've been by my side every moment because they're scared to let me out of their sight.
"They’ve guarded me and won’t let me out of their sight, it’s like a weird numbness."
Speaking of the trolling he has faced since admitting the affair,Phillip said: "Do you want me to die? Because that’s where I am."
"It is relentless, and it is day after day, after day after day.
"If you don’t think that that is going to have the most catastrophic effect on someone’s mind… do want me to die? Because that’s where I am. I have lost everything."
He then compared himself to Caroline Flack who was found dead in February 2020 at the age of 40. A coroner later ruled she took her own life after learning that prosecutors were going to press ahead with an assault charge following an incident with her boyfriend Lewis Burton.
The presenter became choked up as he then revealed he has been dropped as an ambassador for the Prince's Trust charity which 'broke his heart.'
"I can’t remember how long I’ve been there," he said.
Phillip said he has not read a single story about himself over the last week and has 'deleted all apps and notifications' on his phone but 'well meaning people' have come forward to him with the 'criticism'.
The 61-year-old resigned from ITV last week and was dropped by his talent agency YMU after admitting to the “unwise but not illegal” relationship.
He admitted helping his former lover to secure a job at This Morning but said a romantic relationship did not occur until the man was 20 years old.
Phillip said he understood people felt there had been an abuse of power at ITV, but 'it didn't feel like that at a time.'
He once again denied lying to co-star Holly Willoughby about his affair and said he hasn't spoken to her since the day he released his bombshell statement.
The pair had presented This Morning together since 2009, with Willoughby due to return to the show on Monday after the half-term break, having taken an early holiday after news of Schofield’s departure emerged.
Alison Hammond and Dermot O’Leary have been among the presenters hosting the programme in recent weeks.
Schofield went on to say that his “greatest apology” over the fallout from the affair was to his former lover and that he would “die sorry” for what he had done.
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