One of Bolton's funniest comedians is back at long, long last. Twelve years on from his most recent tour, comedy legend Peter Kay is returning to the stage.
Tickets for the hugely anticipated 'Better Late Than Never' tour went on sale this morning (November 12) and hundreds of thousands of fans have been desperately trying to get their hands on them. Demand has been so big, the funnyman has announced more new dates, while ticket websites have buckled under the pressure.
Before taking a break due to family circumstances, Peter had us all roaring with laughter with his hilarious stand-up shows and iconic series, such as Phoenix Nights and Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere. Back in 2015 ahead of the launch of Car Share, Manchester Evening News readers picked their 10 favourite Peter Kay jokes.
READ MORE: New dates added for Peter Kay tour as millions join Ticketmaster queues
Here is the list in full...
1. Do you do liver?
Just like a Peter Kay live show we are opening with the one-liners to warm you up.
This joke, from his ‘Mum wants a Bungalow tour’, has been repeated countless times and it’s no surprise as it takes a lot of skill to write a funny one-liner that doesn’t offend anybody.
Customer [ringing up a takeway]: “Do you deliver?”
Staff: “No we do lamb, chicken or fish.”
2. ‘Can you hear me now?’
Peter Kay and Paddy McGuinness had their spin-off sitcom about the two hopeless bouncers from The Phoenix Club.
But the joke that cemented them as hits of the show and became a catchphrase overnight was when they tested out their new microphones.
3. Sweet Child O’ Mine/ The Proclaimers
When Peter Kay emerged for the encore of his show ‘The Tour That Doesn’t Tour Tour...Now On Tour’ holding an electric guitar the audience reaction ranged from surprised to sceptical.
They were even more surprised when after a chorus of Is This The Way To Amarillo the comic launched in to the opening riff of Sweet Child O’ Mine and teamed it with The Proclaimers lyrics to 500 Miles.
It might not be a side-splitter but it is one of the most memorable encores to a stand-up show in recent memory.
4. Crimewatch
Another one from the ‘Mum wants a Bungalow tour’ his reenactment of a Crimewatch reconstruction had the audience at Bolton Albert Halls in stitches.
5. Uncle ***head
We’ve all got one, and his bad dancing at weddings doesn’t quite make up for their drunk conversation.
6. Rola Cola
The dreaded soft drink of everybody’s childhood. Peter Kay’s mimicry helped to make this joke.
7. Misheard lyrics
“The hot dogs go on”
“Pork pies”
“Wash your back”
You will never hear any of these songs the same way again.
8. “It’s spittin”
The Bolton comic managed to personify every northern school child’s dinner lady as he bounced across the stage saving slightly damp children from not too terrible weather.
9. Hob nobs
“Me biscuit’s fallen in mi brew” and “Dip me again” are now synonymous with the oat biscuit, the SAS of the dunkers.
10. Garlic Bread / Cheese Cake
Okay, these were two different jokes from two different tours but they are the two most famous catch phrases and you rarely hear one without the other.
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