A 22-year-old American woman has sparked a viral debate after sharing an extensive list of 417 reasons why she has decided not to have children. Rylee Evert, who began compiling her list two years ago, shared her thoughts on TikTok, where her video has since garnered over three million views. The reasons range from personal preferences to financial concerns and societal issues, striking a chord with many viewers rethinking traditional expectations around parenthood.
A Comprehensive List Rooted in Personal Experience
Evert's reasons for opting out of parenthood are varied and often blunt. Among her reasons are statements like "I hate children," "They're too expensive," and "I could give birth to a stillborn, and the pregnancy is worth nothing." Evert, who began babysitting at a young age, explained that these experiences helped her understand the realities of raising children. "People really don't think about the reality of having children; they just think about how cute they are or how they're expected to have children," she told news.com.au.
Evert's list also delves into more profound anxieties, such as the fear of losing personal freedom, the environmental impact of overpopulation, and the societal pressure to conform to traditional roles. "I don't want to lose my identity," she noted, adding, "Having children means giving up a significant portion of your life—your time, energy, and freedom."
She further criticised the societal expectation that women should automatically want children, saying, "People assume that because I'm a woman, I should want kids. But that's not the case for everyone, and it's okay to acknowledge that."
Overwhelming Support—and Some Pushback
To Evert's surprise, her video has received overwhelming support, even from parents. Comments like "As a parent, I support this list" and "I have three kids, and I also don't want kids" suggest that many people are questioning the pressures of parenthood. One viewer humorously remarked, "Why was the first one I saw 'they throw mangoes at houses and break windows?'" referencing a specific incident from Evert's list.
However, not all responses were positive. Some critics accused Evert of being selfish or short-sighted. "People say I'll change my mind, or that I have no purpose without children, or that I'm selfish," she shared. Evert counters these accusations by stating, "Honestly, I think it's more selfish to have a child just so someone can take care of me when I'm older or so someone can carry on my 'legacy.'"
The Staggering Cost of Raising a Child
One of Evert's most compelling arguments revolves around the financial burden of raising a child in today's economy. "Clothes, strollers, car seats, healthcare, insurance, diapers, more food, toys, childcare, college—the list goes on, and it all adds up," she said.
SmartAsset says the average cost of raising a child in a large U.S. metro area is $25,181 per year, with significant variations depending on location. For instance, in Boston, the most expensive metro area, the annual cost of raising a child reaches nearly $38,000, with $22,806 going towards childcare alone. In contrast, New Orleans is the least expensive metro area, where raising a child costs less than $18,000 per year, mainly due to lower childcare costs.
"People my age can barely afford rent; how do people expect us to be able to pay for kids?" Evert questioned. Her concerns resonate with many young adults facing the harsh realities of today's economic landscape.
Environmental and Societal Concerns
Evert's list also touches on broader issues, such as the environmental impact of having children. "The world is overpopulated, and bringing more people into it only exacerbates environmental problems," she noted. She expressed concern about her potential children's future, stating, "The world will be either on fire or underwater by the time they'd be able to enjoy it."
In addition to environmental worries, Evert highlighted the societal challenges of raising children in an increasingly hostile world. "With the state of the world—climate change, political instability, economic inequality—why would I want to bring a child into this mess?" she asked.
Physical Risks and Health Concerns
Beyond financial and environmental concerns, Evert also discussed the physical risks of pregnancy and childbirth. "People can literally die from giving birth or even just being pregnant," she said, adding that the tightening abortion laws in the U.S. only heighten her fears. "With abortion bans spreading across the country, I sure don't want to risk it."
She also mentioned the long-term health implications of pregnancy, such as postpartum depression and the physical toll on a woman's body. "There's a lot that people don't talk about when it comes to the health risks of pregnancy, and I'm not willing to put my body through that," she remarked.
A Call for Informed Decision-Making
While Evert's list has sparked debate, her intention is to promote informed decision-making rather than dissuade others from having children. "I'm not telling other people not to have kids; I'm more just trying to spread awareness about what pregnancy and raising a child entails," she stated.
Evert's concerns about the financial burden of raising a child are backed by data from SmartAsset. The average cost of raising a child in a large U.S. metro area is $25,181 per year. In more expensive areas like Boston, this figure can rise to nearly $38,000 annually, with childcare alone costing $22,806 annually.
Evert also highlighted the physical risks of pregnancy, particularly in light of tightening abortion laws in the U.S. This concern is shared by many, as the maternal mortality rate in the U.S. was reported at 23.8 deaths per 100,000 live births in 2020, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Evert's list, now viewed by millions, underscores the complexities and challenges of parenthood. As financial pressures and societal issues grow, her decision resonates with many young adults today. "It's the 21st century; having a child does not define your life's purpose. It's your life; the choice is yours," Evert concluded.
