Pat Cummins admits he was "burnt out" by the relentless nature of the cricket schedule when he returned from a frustrating run of injuries early in his international career.
In his first interview since leaving India midway through Australia's tour in February to spend time with his dying mother, the Test and one-day international captain declared he wanted to play until he was 35.
But Cummins said he needed to adjust mentally after forcing his way back into the Australian team in 2017 following almost six years on the outer due to injury.
In a wideranging chat with England soccer legend Rio Ferdinand, Cummins said he had worked to find things in his life outside of cricket, including focusing on social justice causes and climate change.
Cummins missed Tests during Australia's tour of India to be with his mother, Maria, during her final days in March.
He said the loss was "still pretty raw", but he was glad he got to spend a lot of time with her and the rest of the family in the last few months of her life.
"Just sharing all those memories together," he told WeAre8's Get Real with Rio.
"I think it hits home the kind of person you want to be, the kind of father you want to be. So from that side, it's been quite good. Lots of memories.
"But in terms of the grief, I guess we'll keep working through that."
Time back home is a rarity for any elite international cricketer these days, with the rise of Twenty20 leagues across the world giving them a choice between the riches of franchise cricket and the prestige of playing for their country.
Cummins, who became a parent with wife Becky in 2021, said he had to be careful about spreading himself too thin.
"Cricket's basically 12 months of the year," he said.
"There's always a cricket game going on somewhere, and I played non-stop for a year or two.
"This is about four or five years ago [when] I kind of just came back from injuries.
"And I was just spent, like burnt out, and I just remember thinking, 'Jeez, I'm 25 here but I want to do this until I'm 35. I've got to find a way to balance all these different things.'"
One of those passions outside of cricket has been establishing the foundation Cricket for Climate.
"I try to do my little bit to normalise the [climate change] conversation and make a bit of difference to make his (Cummins's son Albie) future a bit better.
"I'd love to sit back in 10 to 20 years and just show the huge impact we've made."
Cummins will return to lead Australia in the final of the World Test Championship against India at The Oval in London on June 7 before the Ashes get underway on June 16.
AAP/ABC
