Yes, long live Katherine whoever she is. No, Viva is her first name.
My mistake. Should we start again? I think so.
Age: 20 days.
Wait, she's a baby? No wonder I've never heard of her. She's the daughter of singer Rufus Wainwright and his partner Jorn Weisbrodt. Her birth has just been officially announced.
Jorn – another funny name for a girl. Jorn is a man.
I'm cool with that. And why Cohen? Because the child's mother is called Lorca Cohen.
Now that, I feel safe in saying, really is a funny name for a girl. She was named after the writer Federico García Lorca by her father, Leonard Cohen
The baby's mother is Leonard Cohen's daughter? Yes, she's one of two children he had with artist Suzanne Elrod.
The Suzanne who takes you down to her place near the river? No, that was a different Suzanne.
Leonard knew two different Suzannes? At the very least, mate.
I'm very open-minded, but also easily confused. How many parents does this kid have? Some reports called Lorca Cohen a surrogate, but Wainwright's website announcement referred to "proud parents Lorca Cohen, Rufus Wainwright and Deputy Dad Jorn Weisbrodt".
Deputy Dad? Well, it's their arrangement, so one can only presume they're all happy with it.
Does the child have any other famous namesakes or relations? Wainwright named her Katherine after his mother, the folksinger Kate McGarrigle, who died last year. The child's other grandfather is the singer Loudon Wainwright III, and her aunt is singer-songwriter Martha Wainwright.
It's a merger of musical dynasties! And a tidy one. Rufus Wainwright once performed a version of Cohen's Hallelujah which appeared on the Shrek soundtrack album.
Do say: "Happy birthday to Viva, in F if that suits everybody."
Don't say: "My favourite version of Hallelujah is the Alexandra Burke one."
