God, Mom! You’re ruining my life! You’ll never understand me! Slams bedroom door.
Any parent of a teenager probably knows exactly what it feels like to hear something along those lines, but just because it’s expected at a certain point doesn’t make it sting any less. That’s why one parent recently reached out to Reddit to find out if they’re actually ruining their pre-teen daughter’s life by refusing to buy her the phone she wants. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies readers have shared.
It’s easy for the smallest things to feel like the end of the world when you’re a child
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / pexels (not the actual photo)
So after this parent was told that they’re ruining their daughter’s life, they reached out to the internet for a second opinion
Image credits: Liza Summer / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Zana Latif / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Able_Text5286
Most children today receive their first phone between the ages of 10-14
As an adult, it can sometimes be difficult to remember exactly how it felt to be 11 years old. In my case, I was in 6th grade, at the bottom of the totem pole in middle school, just trying to get by without saying or doing anything too embarrassing. I was constantly comparing myself to others and feeling insecure about not straightening my hair, not shaving my legs and not being the object of affection to any of the boys in my class. The pre-teen years are not easy.
So having the technology and smartphones that kids have today must make that transitional phase of childhood even harder. The Washington Post recommends that a good age for a child to receive their first smartphone would be between 10-14, but according to Common Sense Media, 42% of kids already have one by the age of 10.
It’s entirely up to the parents to decide when their kiddos are ready for a cell phone, but it’s likely that little ones will start feeling the pressure to get one as soon as their friends start using them. There are valid reasons to hold off on getting your child a smartphone, however, as Wait Until 8th, an organization dedicated to convincing parents not to give their kids smartphones until 8th grade, notes how rapidly this technology is impacting childhood.
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But some experts recommend that parents hold off as long as possible before getting their kids a smartphone
Wait Until 8th reports that kids spend between 3-7 hours in front of screens each day, and research has shown that smartphones are addictive in the same way slot machines are. Smartphones can be a huge distraction from academics, and excessive smartphone use has actually been found to alter children’s brains.
Spending too much time on their phones can interfere with children’s relationships, increase their risk for anxiety and depression, put kids at risk for cyber bullying, and even expose kids to inappropriate content.
But as a parent, saying no to your children is much easier said than done. Despite the fact that an iPhone 15 Pro Max costs upwards of $1,199, the pressure that kids feel to keep up with what others have can be incredibly powerful. Middle school is already an incredibly vulnerable time, and when classmates come in flaunting their brand new shoes, fancy jewelry or expensive iPhone, it’s natural for their peers to become jealous.
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It’s important for parents to teach their kids not to compare themselves to others
But instead of giving in to avoid hurting their children’s feelings, it might be wise for parents to teach their kids how to stop comparing themselves to others. Big Life Journal recommends a few ways for parents to help their kids stop playing the comparison olympics, and one tactic that they recommend is being a good example by never comparing their kids to others.
Teaching kids to use themselves for internal evaluation, rather than others, can be extremely valuable. Moms and dads should also be sure to celebrate their kids’ progress, even if the end result isn’t winning first place. And when it comes to setting personal goals, parents should guide their kids to help them set and track goals. When children have to work hard for something, they’ll feel proud and accomplished once they’ve earned it, and they’ll be focusing on themselves rather than what their peers have.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this parent made the right choice to give their child a slightly older iPhone? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing parenting, look no further than right here!
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Some readers assured the parent that they were right to not give their daughter the newest phone
Meanwhile, others judged the parent for giving their young daughter a smartphone in the first place
