If you thought Master Chief’s bare butt represented the height of absurdity in Paramount’s Halo TV show, then prepare yourself for what’s coming. Consider this your spoiler warning.
In episode eight of Halo, Master Chief has sex. No, this is not a Pillar of Autumn joke — the big guy finally got lucky. Any longtime fan would probably guess that Cortana would be the one to pop his cherry, but no. It was a human spy working for The Covenant. Yes, the Chief got busy with someone from the alien sect he’s been slaughtering en masse since Halo: Combat Evolved came out two decades ago. The showrunners weren’t kidding when they said Halo would deviate from canon.
As you can guess, folks on social media are having a ball with this one.
Look, I don't care if this is a spoiler, the world must know:
In this week's Halo episode, Master Chief has sex with a human covenant spy prisoner while Cortana watches and it appears it triggers events that will lead to the Fall of Reach
— Paul Tassi (@PaulTassi) May 12, 2022
MASTER CHIEF HAD SEX IN THE NEW EPISODE OF THE HALO TV SHOW???????????????????????????????
— Beethovenus (@Beethovenus) May 12, 2022
If the Master Chief sex scene doesn’t have the Blue Oyster Club music from Police Academy in it, then I don’t wanna see it.
— Kahlief Adams (@KahliefAdams) May 12, 2022
Master Chief having sex on the Halo TV show pic.twitter.com/N0Hv5PqoTc
— Carli Velocci (@velocciraptor) May 12, 2022
Part of the reason everyone’s laughing (or upset) at this one is that fans have debated for years whether Master Chief is a virgin. Basically, in Halo‘s backstory, Chief was kidnapped by the UNSC as a child. Through genetic augmentation and rigorous training, he became the ultimate supersoldier.
That doesn’t leave him much time to hop on Bumble or Tinder, eh? Though, depending on who you ask, scientists removed his sex drive entirely since that would be a distraction from combat or something. Words cannot express how ridiculous I feel writing all of this, but there you go.
Written by Kyle Campbell on behalf of GLHF.
