Pamela Anderson admits that she never got over the breakdown of her marriage to Tommy Lee.
The Baywatch beauty married the rock star after just four days together and they share two children.
In a new Netflix documentary, Pamela delves into her heartbreak and how she would now rather be alone than be with the wrong person.
"What it all comes down to is that I never got over not being able to make it work with the father of my kids. "And even though I thought I could recreate a family or fall in love with somebody else, it's just not me," she said on camera.
"So that's probably why I keep failing in all my relationships - I'd rather be alone than not be with the father of my kids.
"It's impossible to be with anybody else. But I don't think I could be with Tommy either. It's almost like a punishment," she added.
She married Tommy on a beach in Cancun, Mexico in 1995 and they split in 1998.
She described their first night together as a "big happy blur" after they took Ecstasy and drank champagne.
"What was different about Tommy was that there were no secrets, there was no deception, there was no game playing, it was really just full on heart to heart explosive kind of love. We didn't know anything about each other and it ended up being one of the wildest most beautiful love affairs ever."
Pamela was heartbroken after she lost their first baby after she suffered a miscarriage when she was filming Barbed Wire.
After she gave birth to Brandon, she said she started to see "red flags" in Tommy, calling him a "talented romantic and a bad drunk."
She said how he would often turn up to the Baywatch set after getting jealous, and one time got in such a rage after an on-screen kiss that he trashed her trailer.
Their marriage finally broke down in 1998 after Tommy assaulted her while she was holding their son Dylan, who was just six months at the time.
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He was sentenced to six months in prison.
"I think Tommy went through a bit of postpartum… Tommy was going I want my wife back I want my wife back. At that point I didn't know what to do," she said.
"I just said: 'I need some ****ing help here, you've got to grow up. It's not about you any more.' I had never spoken to him that way before. I didn't recognise him. He went black and then I started hyperventilating, scared. Brandon was shaking and screaming and holding my leg so I called 911 I put the receiver off."
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