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Belfast Live
Belfast Live
National
James Martin McCarthy

'Pageant helped me overcome postnatal depression' says Newtownabbey mum of three

A Co Antrim mother has spoken out about her experience of living with postnatal depression.

Pixie Ray, from Newtownabbey, battled with postnatal depression after the births of all three of her children.

Speaking to Belfast Live, she said she hopes to raise awareness of how the condition affects parents and families with newborn children.

Read more: Translink gets on board with West Belfast mental health charity to ease stress of transport to sessions

"My three children are aged 8, 6 and 7 months old," she said.

"The first child was totally unplanned and I went through postnatal depression after that.

"I also suffered postnatal depression with my second child then my new partner and I had been trying for a baby and had given up.

"Then she came along and I thought that because we both really wanted her that I would be fine but it turned out to be the worst postnatal depression that I had suffered."

Pixie said that most of the help she got came from mothers who had been in the same situation as her but pointed out that postnatal depression also affects men.

"There isn't much conversation about how postnatal depression affects men," she continued.

"My partner has had a hell of a time and while he has tried his best to support me, it has really worn him down.

"When I first noticed the symptoms of my postnatal depression returning, I went to the GP and we changed my medication."

Explaining her symptoms, Pixie said that she suffered with a lot of guilt as she felt that she wasn't spending enough time with her partner and children. She also said that she felt jealous of her partner when he was going to work as he was getting out of the house.

Pixie's friend suggested that as she is a fomer model, she should take part in the Shining Light pageant to raise money for charities helping people with postnatal depression.

"My friend said that it might be fun to do so I looked into the two charities they were raising money for which was PIPS Suicide Prevention and Newpin NI which is based in Derry.

"I dropped into PIPS to find out more information about their work and after a conversation with their director Renee Quinn, I came away with help and support for my own situation which was unexpected.

"People think that PIPS only work with people who are suicidal or families bereaved through suicide but they also run the likes of child-led play therapy."

Pixie pictured with her fiancée Ross Kennedy at the Shining Light pageant final (Submitted)

Pixie added that taking part in the pageant gave her something to motivate her to get out of the house.

"The pageant kept me motivated because you are out, promoting these charities.

"Its like a family and we were constantly checking in on each other. We would meet up and my partner would come along and there was a lot of help.

"It's not a beauty pageant and everyone involved supports each other and cheers each other on. You aren't judged on your looks but how you go out of your way to promote the work of the charities involved."

Describing how her postnatal depression impacted her, Pixie said: "Quite often with my postnatal depression I had sleepless nights worrying about if the kids were breathing and when it came to daytime I was busted.

"I had quite a good support network who have been willing to help when they can but quite often it can be the small things like getting out to see friends.

"Friends can sometimes invite you on nights out but for example, I was breastfeeding and didn't really want to go on nights out so I felt that there was a lack of awareness around what help new mums need.

"Another example is the likes of offering to watch the baby to allow a new mum to go and take a shower. I have went days without a shower because you go through the day juggling the other children and by the time you get sorted it's late at night.

"Its finding that fine line because I didn't want to let my baby out of my sight."

Finishing, Pixie encouraged anyone who thinks they are showing signs of postnatal depression to reach out and seek help.

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