The 83-year-old Hollywood legend Al Pacino has a baby on the way. His girlfriend, Noor Alfallah, is eight months pregnant, and this revelation has made me feel like a young father for the first time ever.
I always wanted a family, but when I ended up being childless at 35 while my friends were teaching their offspring how to parallel park, I thought it wouldn't happen. I wasn't bitter, because raising a child is expensive and a lot of work, and it also never really stops. I once had a 63-year-old uncle (by marriage) living at home with his mom, and I think she still packed his lunch! Seriously, parenting never stops.
Without kids, you can come and go as you please, quit jobs that stress you out, overspend on Air Nikes or whatever your quirky addiction is, and even experiment with rare and exotic healing practices like ayahuasca ceremonies. I never took ayahuasca; however, it was an option when I didn't have a child. And then I fell in love with my girlfriend, who became my wife.
When I met my wife, I thought, How could I not have a child with this woman? We were head over heels and loved everything about each other, to the disgusting point where we could waste hours just smelling each other's feet. And most importantly, it felt right. Having a child at that moment felt right. I wonder if Mr. Pacino and Miss Alfallah share that same feeling my wife and I had, and if you can even put an age limit on that feeling.
Science puts limits on natural childbirth for women, identifying any pregnancy over the age of 35 as geriatric. My wife was 35 when pregnant with our daughter, and I took every chance I got to call her a geezer for laughs, in an attempt to cover my fear, knowing that Black women are three to four times more likely to die from pregnancy-related causes than white women. Joking and praying constantly allowed us to cope. Thankfully, she made it through, giving birth to a beautiful baby girl. And just like that, we were parents.
Being the parent of an infant and then a toddler and pushing 40 is demanding, mainly because your body aches for reasons you will never know, and babies don't care.
Being the parent of an infant and then a toddler while pushing 40 is demanding, mainly because your body aches for reasons you will never know, and babies don't care. My shoulder was sore because I popped it out of place playing basketball years ago, and it felt like hurting me to just to remind me that it used to dangle. But the baby not only wanted some milk, she also wanted me to carry her down to get the milk with my sore, previously dangling shoulder. The same was true when I dislocated my knee, God knows why — only a person over 40 can dislocate a knee without fighting or playing sports, for no reason other than being 40.
"Daddy, carry me," my daughter said.
"But baby, daddy's knee has puffed up to a balloon, and I'm scared that we'll fall because I am, I am . . . I am old," I pleaded, swallowing my reality. "Your knees are much younger and stronger, baby. Maybe I can use you as a cane?"
"Pick me up!" she spat back, and I picked her up like the geriatric servant I was. Will Pacino be able to do this at 83? Only time will tell.
A positive for Al and Noor is they have enough money to hire the youngest and strongest people to carry their child around. They won't have to make 4 a.m. milk runs because that becomes a job for the help, making the task of raising a kid a little easier.
Selfishly, Al's decision to procreate at 83 has made me more comfortable being 40 with a toddler. I've decided to identify as a young dad. I can dream harder now, because if I am as healthy as Pacino at 80, then that means my baby, my sore joints, and I could have a lifetime of beautiful memories.
