Over the last 20 years, I can't tell you how many times I've had people say to me, 'Look, I've never told anyone this'.
Ever since Life Matters started in 1992, and certainly since I joined the team in 2000, we've interviewed countless celebrities, politicians, authors, artists and academics.
But for me, what makes the show special is its relationship with the listeners. They give us their heart and soul, and they're so honest.
I'm often asked why people tell us the things they do, on air particularly. I think they feel there's a certain amount of anonymity in being on the show, even though it's exactly the opposite of that. Still, they must trust us.
Over the years, the listeners have shared their deepest feelings and traumas, along with their triumphs. And there have been so many truly amazing moments that I will never forget.
Here are some of them.
Baring their souls
One of the early segments I produced was called Meet the Listener, and some of those who took part were willing to bare all, sometimes quite literally.
Shirley was our "social nudist". After going through a divorce, a friend suggested she get out and meet some men — by joining the local nudist club. This was the late 1970s and Shirley, then in her 40s, did just that.
She told me the first day was very challenging with the unisex change rooms. "I was approached by a lovely older man, a bank manager, who asked, 'May I wash your back?' and I said yes!"
"At that age, my late 40s, I wasn't about to refuse any offers," she laughingly said.
Shirley was 81 when she came on our program, and she had been through cancer and a double mastectomy — and she was still an active member of the club.
The listeners also often share stories of great resilience.
I remember talking to Jane, who was in her 50s when she travelled to Bali where she suffered an arterial embolism while going for a walk. It cut off her blood supply instantly, causing her foot and lower leg to die, and she had to have her leg amputated.
Her stories about how she dealt with this were incredible. She spoke about how something deep inside her mind motivated her to get herself together, to muster all her strength, to face this misfortune with everything she had.
And of course, there are the funny stories.
There are so many hilarious moments working on a daily radio program, but while I was delving into the archives for Life Matters' 30th Birthday project, I came across an interview with a woman who would regularly vacuum her cat. That had me in stitches. It was part of a series on pets and their owners. Her cat Jezebel, who was very much a central figure in her life, was also known to have a string of Tom cat suitors.
The human connection
Part of my job as a producer is to get people to open up and share their stories. I approach this as a conversation, and often I end up sharing bits of my life.
We form a bond and usually that's how we find the best stories. I have had countless chats with fascinating strangers. Everyone has a story to tell.
Sometimes those chats turned into real connections. In 2006, I interviewed Anne, a hearing-impaired woman who lives between Australia and Turkey. We had such a connection that she invited me over to Turkey. Two friends went to visit instead of me and they sent me photos of them all sipping gin and tonics on her verandah. They even had the audacity to call me on my birthday — that was such a wonderful surprise.
Another guest was Romana, whom I called the accidental expat. She was living in France and tuning in to the program each day.
While on holiday, Romana had met and married a Frenchman in a whirlwind fashion after meeting him at a Buddhist meditation class. She relocated to Toulouse in the south of France. While I was there on a trip, I met up with her for coffee and a spot of shoe shopping, which was fabulous.
Then there are those moments that really make you think about your life. I still remember the interview we did with Ingrid Betancourt, the Columbian-French politician who was held hostage in the jungle for six years by the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, also known as the Farc.
When her captors demanded that she be known as merely a number she refused, instead insisting they call her by name. This act of defiance very nearly had her killed but she knew if she succumbed to being just a number, they would have won and she would lose herself. Her story really made me consider how important it is to value your own worth.
Who is listening?
Talkbacks with the listeners are always full of surprises.
Sometime people will want to vent their anger. They're passionate about the issue that we've been talking about, maybe how the segment's been dealt with or how it resonates with their life.
Once Magda Szubanski called in on the talkback line. Another time, when we were doing a talkback on handwriting, cricketer Max Walker dialled in to tell us about his favourite fountain pen. It is always surprising to find out who is listening to the program.
Often our talkback callers became guests later, like the compulsive protester, 85-year-old Marty Morrison, who first called into a talkback we did on activism.
She was up to fight for all manner of causes with all her signs ready to go. She even brought them into the studio when we invited her on in 2014.
The things that shocked us
Life Matters has been a pretty fearless program over the years and we've covered all manner of amazing topics.
We did a talkback on masturbation once, and it went off!
Listeners have sometimes revealed some shocking things. For example, we got a letter from someone who was in an intimate relationship with her brother. They couldn't tell anyone and had left their hometown, changed their names and were living as a couple in a town where no-one knew they were related to each other. Reading that handwritten letter still sticks in my mind.
There have been a lot of sad stories too. Former presenter Richard Aedy and I were chatting about the stories we've covered over the years. One segment that stood out was called Bear is Now Asleep. The guest was William Verity who had lost his three-year-old daughter India in a freak soccer goal accident.
Richard and I and the entire team were so moved by that story, and particularly by William's honesty. We were in awe of how he and his wife Caroline coped with India's death and the subsequent fall-out from the tragedy, and despite this, he managed to find a silver lining.
Listening to people's stories can sometimes take its toll.
Being an ear to people's grief and listening to some of their life challenges and circumstances can be difficult. A psychologist who'd been a guest on one of our talkbacks once asked me if I ever debriefed after hearing all these stories. I had to say no.
He said: "You are probably carrying a lot of people's traumas".
What's changed? What hasn't?
Over the years, stories seem to come back around again and again. We are constantly reliving the same issues and asking the same questions, no matter what the year.
But the answers can change so much.
For example, the question of how to be a good parent never goes away. In the early 2000s, it was about free-range style, or what was deemed "benign neglect", for example, lots of tree climbing sans supervision. Then along came helicopter parenting and constantly hovering over your children.
I remember a wonderful interview we did in 2009 with New York mum Lenore Skenazy, author of Free Range Kids. She had been labelled "the world's worst mum" for allowing her son to ride the subway alone when he was nine years old. But she sparked a whole movement.
A few years later, we interviewed Amy Chua who wrote Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. This ushered in the era of the Tiger Mum, a fairly strict parenting philosophy.
These days, I think parents are more often judged, which puts a lot of pressure on them to feel they are "doing it right". That's tough.
But sometimes it's a relief that things have changed.
For example, one of the guests we had on in the early days of the program was transwoman Katherine Cummins, who had transitioned when she was in her 50s.
Recently I listened back to the interview she did with Geraldine Doogue, and I thought about how far we've come in accepting and embracing gender fluidity in 2022. It's still a topic for discussion, but back then, it would have just been so difficult. It's certainly more open and more recognised, even though there's still a way to go.
I've learnt so much working on Life Matters. Every story, every book, every conversation has taught me something. And the various producers and presenters I've seen join the party over the years have always enriched the program.
Being on the show is constant learning and the variety of material Life Matters has brought to air since its inception is truly never-ending.
I'm always ready to be blown away by the next guest, conversation, story or unexpected sage advice that the program brings. And I know there will always be something new tomorrow.
RN in your inbox
Get more stories that go beyond the news cycle with our weekly newsletter.
