Opportunists Rise Up! Multiple Dildos Have Been Littered On A Road In Sydney’s Inner West

It looks like a myriad, nay, a plethora of plastic cocks have been mysteriously scattered across the M4 off-ramp near NSW’s Parramatta road. I have many questions. Firstly, who’s the mysterious person that’s now down ten dildos? Secondly, are these products still on the road? I want to collect them… so that nobody gets hurt, of course. Friends, it looks like nature is healing. Dildos have finally returned to the wild and are running free. News of the faux peens that were left on the road first appeared on the Inner West Sydney Street Bounty Facebook page. Most Aussie areas have one, this just happens to be the one that I’m a part of. Yes, this means I could have accessed the primo products (which aren’t fkn cheap these days) if I was quick enough. Alas, according to folks in the Facebook group, the dildos weren’t there for long. “Fastest road clean up I’ve ever seen. Wasn’t there just 10mins later,” one Facebook user wrote. There’s only one pic of the dildos that’s been posted, so if you wanna see some schlong, squint your eyes. PEDESTRIAN.TV has reached out for more info on this intriguing mystery.

It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

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Naturally, the comments under the post were full of dick jokes and rock-hard puns. After all, it’s not every day that the street bounties up for grabs include massive dildos. Usually it’s like… a chair with three legs or a broken guitar. “Cloudy with a chance of dildos!” one Facebook user wrote. “Liked and shared. Good luck everyone, hope I win,” wrote another. “Can pick up tonight! Thanks! Trade for cat food, coffee, my dignity or bike supplies! Cheers!” wrote a third. My favourite comment though has to be this one: “Yet anyone who goes home and says, ‘there were a lot of dicks out on the road today’ will just get eye-rolled.” Points for really thinking about the intersection of traffic and penis humour, it isn’t easy. If you need me I’m going to be searching the bushes near the M4 off-ramp. Maybe one of the wild dildos got lost after falling out of that truck and needs a home?