My party trick is I can put a name to the face of every MP from the 2010-15 parliament. This was only vaguely useful a decade ago, and grows ever more redundant as time continues its remorseless march to the heat death of the universe. It may also explain my rapidly diminishing social calendar.
George Costanza on the other hand, the stocky, balding and conniving side kick on Seinfeld, had a more useful skill. He could name the best public toilet anywhere in New York City. Of course, this is not much help when 1. you live in reality and 2. that reality is London.
But if you share George's concern for comfort during your more private moments, you're not alone. As local democracy reporter Noah Vickers writes, a new alliance is campaigning for more public toilets in the capital, arguing that adequate loo access is “a fundamental right and a crucial public health matter”. They are surely correct.
The London Loo Alliance, whose members include Age UK London, The London Society and the Royal Society for Public Health, points to a 2021 survey by the London Assembly, which found that 91.3 per cent of respondents do not feel toilet provision is adequate to meet their needs.
As Noah reports, research by Age UK London, conducted with older Londoners in 2022, also reveals that nine in 10 have considered the availability of toilets before making a journey and that more than half have sometimes reduced the amount they drink before going out.
Avnish Goyal CBE, chair of the Hallmark Foundation charity, which is supporting the creation of the London Loo Alliance, said:
“People of all ages and backgrounds may get caught short while out and about. Access to toilets is therefore a critical issue for all of us and a key part of local infrastructure and a civilised society. We hope the new Alliance will make London a better city for everyone, building on recent plans for improved station toilets announced by the Mayor of London, and influence the provision of toilets across the country.”
For what it's worth, the best public toilets in London can be found at the Camley Street Natural Park near Coal Drop Yards. But if you're anywhere else, just walk into a hotel as if you belong. No one will stop you.
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