I have one major gripe with pubs in London. No, it’s not how early they close – my colleagues have discussed this issue at length. I take issue with last call.
For context, I’m Irish, and we famously do hospitality well. In Ireland, last call is a (mostly) gentle reminder that things are wrapping up soon. It’s your last chance to grab a drink, your opportunity to check the bus times or scout out a next spot.
Last call is a good thirty minutes before the bell is rung. And when that bell does ring, and the lights come on, you know you’ve had your time. You’ve had a heads up for a while that you’d have to leave – it’s not a surprise. If anything, it’s an example of good communication.
Last call in London is a figment of the imagination. There is no last call; the bar just closes. There are mere minutes between last call and lights on, and this took me a hot minute to get used to.
I wouldn’t have spent that £7 on a full pint had I known I had not four literal minutes to drink it
It’s the fact that they pretend they’re not closing that annoys me. When I first moved over here and ordered a drink at last call I was completely taken back. I wouldn’t have spent that £7 on a full pint had I known I had not four literal minutes to drink it. Where was my heads up? It’s not difficult: ‘Just so you know, we’re closing up in about five’.
It’s the lack of communication and respect between the bar keeper and the customer that irritates me, not the notion of staff closing up and going home. I understand they want to get home, and I’m sure they have difficult nights. I’ve worked in the service industry before and I’ve been there, stacking chairs a little louder than I should, turning the lights on, that sort of thing.
I even went through one phase in my early twenties when I’d play Closing Time by Semisonic in the hope the message would subliminally resonate (it didn’t). Now of course, mildly older and wiser, I’d have the confidence to pop over and give a quick “Hey guys, no rush whatsoever but just so you know we’re closing up in 30. Any last drinks?”
Surely I can’t be the only one who’s bothered by this. And with pubs closing left and right in London, and Gen Z barely drinking, I don’t think they should risk ostracising any further customers. Communication and respect are the cornerstones of a good local, and it’s the staff more often than not that bring in repeat customers. Regulars, as they say in the biz.
So this is my call for a longer last call in London – who’s with me?
Michelle Martin is a Homepage Producer at The Standard
