It’s time to start making plans because you’re missing an opportunity: January is the best month to go to the pub in London.
While it seems like most people are giving the booze a rest — whether for a health kick, to balance the books after ruinous Christmas spending, or because it's just trendy — not quite everyone has. In fact, inside the pubs right now, it's legends only. The pubs have reached their highest state of perfection, their ultimate forms.
I'm not really one for going out in December. It’s like what the British have turned St Patrick’s Day here into: a theme park for people to cosplay as pubgoers. The office parties, novelty outfits and same music on loop. It takes an axe to all the good things about pubs. They should be an escape from the outside world, where time doesn't matter and you can indulge in conversation unbound (preferably at a reasonable volume). All you need is good company and a good drink. No silly hat required.
Instead, people go too hard in December and ruin their January. It was noticeable how many people were missing after Christmas because they just couldn't get enough of their families to return in good time (I was on a train back into London on Boxing Day morning) or because they failed a late fitness test due to seasonal illness. Pathetic.
‘Dry Jan’? You can’t even bring yourself to say the full phrase, you coward
When the fireworks went off for New Year’s, what were you celebrating? Twelve more months of all this? And making the first, dark month of it even bleaker by going on whatever temporary abstinence you think will make a difference over the course of 31 days? No thank you. ‘Dry Jan’? You can’t even bring yourself to say the full phrase, you coward.
Or you’ve found yourself cash-strapped after Christmas, having spent all that money for the sake of one day, which is basically just a party. What did you do — get married to Christmas?! You could have been partying all this month! Instead, come 10pm, when some of us are getting last orders in, you’re wedded to switching over to BBC Two now for The Traitors Uncloaked. Enjoy that life.
The pub is left exclusively to the people who haven’t quit fun for the sake of it, and we can get served straight away for a change
Instead, drop Dry January and head to the pub. There you’ll will find yourself among a gang who know what’s what. Nobody is clogging up space after being dragged out to a work drinks or social engagement they didn’t want to go to — in January these people have the free choice of rotting away at home if that is their wont. It leaves the pub open exclusively to the people who haven’t quit fun for the sake of it, and we can get served straight away for a change.
This is why pubs are at their best in January. You really want to miss out on that? Give up giving up and start Wet January. Come on in, the water's lovely.
Andy Beill is homepage producer for The Standard
