January has a reputation for being the most popular month couples file for divorce.
It’s likely something to do with being with your family over the Christmas break. But who cares. In my mind, there’s only one thing worse than wasting years of your life with the wrong person - and that’s wasting another second, once you know it’s over.
I say, don’t get married. People are hard enough to get rid of, without having to ask a judge for permission. However, marriage remains one of the most popular and socially prestigious things you can do with your life.
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Getting divorced is a gut wrenching reality for almost 10% of married couples. It’s fantastic that you’ve realised you want something different for your life. But the practicalities of splitting time with your children and having to change your living arrangements, can cause a huge amount of stress.
So, if you’re in the thick of it, are there any positives? I spoke to a few divorcees this week, who are glad they checked out.
Siobhan said: “Having to take my own bins out is the only negative for me, post divorce.”
Lindsay believes that “divorce leaves you free to meet your soulmate later on. You just don’t know it yet.”
And Maddison added: “Divorce will bring you inner peace, just stay strong.”
The idea of splitting your time with your kids can seems terrifying. But is the reality all that bad? I’m a believer that not spending every day with your child(ren) actually makes you a better parent. It enables you to focus your time on them and also enjoy your own adult life with clear boundaries. I asked other people for their views on co-parenting and got some interesting responses:
Sophie said: “I love co-parenting! It’s great to get a bit of peace when they’re out.”
Sarah added: "It’s hard, but the times when she’s with her dad, I’m learning to enjoy myself.”
Linzi said: "Child -free time is the best thing, post divorce.”
Lucy added: "While it might be challenging, it can be really good.”
Emily said: "We co-parent 50/50 and I couldn’t be happier for my son to live with two different parents in two happy homes.”
It’s so easy to lose yourself in a relationship and as a parent. Having time to yourself enables you to focus on yourself and your hobbies. To spend time doing the things you really enjoy. To go on trips and enjoy being you.
You may regret relationships, but has anyone ever regretted a break up? Not really.
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