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An OnlyFans model wanted to “shock and scare” her boyfriend when she fatally stabbed him, a court heard.
Abigail White, 24, was arguing with Bradley Lewis, 22, when she stabbed him once to the chest on the evening of March 25 this year.
Mr Lewis was taken to hospital from the defendant’s home in Kingswood, South Gloucestershire, but died hours later.
Bristol Crown Court heard that hours earlier Mr Lewis had told White their relationship was over.
The stabbing happened just minutes after they had returned from a pub where White had got into an argument with Mr Lewis and another man – pouring drinks over them – causing the man to punch her to the ground.
White explained she had consumed a bottle of wine before arriving at the pub, where she had a Jagerbomb and two rum and cokes, as well as a small amount of cocaine.
Giving evidence, the defendant told the jury the argument had started after she felt Mr Lewis had not stuck up for her during the row in the pub.
“We were arguing, it was quite loud. I wasn’t happy that he didn’t stick up for me about what happened in the pub,” she said.
“He was saying I was over-reacting. He said I shouldn’t have got upset by it.”
Andrew Langdon KC, defending, asked White: “What effect did it have on you that you were over-reacting?”
She replied: “It made me more upset… quite a bad state.
“We were arguing, and he was pushing me and were in the hallway. I went into the kitchen, and I seen the knife on the side.
“Picked it up and walked back towards Brad. I went over to him to shock him, to scare him with the knife and before I knew it I had stabbed him.”
Mr Langdon asked: “When was it when you realised what you had done?”
She replied: “Not until after… the look on his face and when he said my name… he looked in shock.
“The knife was already out before I noticed.”
Asked what she saw next, she replied: “The blood. I helped him take his clothes off. We got up together and I helped move him into the kitchen.”
White accepted she had lied to her neighbour, a friend and the police when she said Mr Lewis had stabbed himself.
Asked why she lied, she replied: “I was scared. I was worried about what was going to happen to me, to Brad and the family.
“Just wish I had told the truth from the beginning.”
Mr Langdon asked: “Did you intend to stab him in the heart?”
“No,” she replied.
Mr Langdon said the pathologist found the fatal injury would have required “moderate force”.
“Did you think about how much damage you would do to him? Did you try and push the knife all the way into him,” he asked.
Fighting back tears, she replied: “No.”
Mr Langdon asked: “Did you mean to kill him?”
“No,” she said.
The court heard of an incident a few days’ earlier when she had stabbed Mr Lewis in the arm, which had happened during a traumatic period in her life.
In a message to a friend, White said: “I’ve had the worst last few days. Lost the baby and found Brad’s cheated with two different people.
“I can’t cope anymore. Trauma. I can’t live like this anymore.”
Mr Langdon said further messages went on to make threats to “stab, kill, attack”.
“Were you really going to do that?,” he asked.
White replied: “I was just saying it.”
Asked about the arm injury incident, White said: “We were arguing when we got back home, we were in the kitchen and I was extremely upset and I stabbed him in the arm.”
The jury heard that White had an injured ear and a bruise on her shoulder.
“While I was going though losing the baby, we were in bed and he wasn’t helping me or comforting me at all,” White said.
“He didn’t like the fact I was crying because he was trying to sleep, so he punched me in the ear.”
White, of Chipperfield Drive, Kingswood, initially claimed Mr Lewis had stabbed himself but later admitted a charge of manslaughter by diminished responsibility. She denies murder.
The trial continues.