Soon after NFL owners approved the proposal of allowing players to wear jerseys with the No. 0, I thought of the best nickname without the help of ChatGPT, the artificial intelligence chatbot.
Drum roll, please. … Sub-Zero.
I know, very cool (no pun intended). And because Jaguars wide receiver Calvin Ridley was the first player to claim No. 0, he can have the nickname of Sub-Zero. Just credit me, and more important, 1990s fighting video game Mortal Kombat.
Yes, technically sub-zero is, well, below zero, but just imagine Ridley catching a game-winning touchdown in Kansas City with freezing temperatures during the postseason with that nickname. That’s right, very cool, but if Sub-Zero doesn’t work, here’s what ChatGPT suggested for nicknames:
Zero Hero, Zilch, Nada, The 0-Man, The Cipher, The Empty Set (clever) and Void (a good one for the Saints and their restructured contracts).
But no more nicknames. Let’s take this a step further and suggest one player for every NFL team that should wear No. 0, besides the Jaguars because Ridley already claimed it, and that shows how popular this number will be.
Unfortunately, the league won’t allow offensive and defensive linemen to sport No. 0. Maybe because the owners didn’t want to upset Colorado coach Deion Sanders, who recently went viral for having strict rules on single-digit jersey numbers.
Coach Prime has a point, though. You gotta earn the cold numbers, as the kids say.
O.K., enough dad jokes. Here are 31 other players who should be wearing No. 0 for their respective teams.
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Ron Chenoy/USA TODAY Sports
Budda Baker, S, Arizona Cardinals
Baker meets many criterias for rocking No. 0. Established star player whose top priority on the field is to prevent downfield plays. Defensive backs love waving their arms after every pass defended. Now Baker can do that while shouting “nada.”
Kyle Pitts, TE, Atlanta Falcons
A stretched-out 0 on the jersey of the 6'4", 246-pound Pitts would look pretty clean. He definitely meets the cool factor, and he could also annoy his fantasy owners if he has long stretches with zero touchdowns.
Justin Tucker, K, Baltimore Ravens
This one is easy. Tucker doesn’t miss kicks in clutch situations. An opera-singing kicker waving his zero jersey after game-winning kicks is definitely something the NFL needs.
Matt Milano, ILB, Buffalo Bills
Speaking of sub-zero, the Bills are known for playing in frigid conditions, so any star player from this squad would work, but let’s go with the do-it-all linebacker Milano. Chasing down players to prevent first downs applies to the zero concept. Zero first downs given.
Brian Burns, OLB, Carolina Panthers
Burns is listed as a defensive end on the Panthers’ website, but he’s more of an outside linebacker because the team plays a 3–4 scheme under coordinator Ejiro Evero. It’s all the same, but let’s bend the rules for Carolina's freaky athletic edge rusher.
DJ Moore, WR, Chicago Bears
The Bears have their new receiver listed on the roster with No. 2, but maybe that’s not official. Moore in a No. 0 jersey catching passes from Justin Fields would be a pretty sight.
Joe Burrow, QB, Cincinnati Bengals
No QB is colder (as in cool) than the iced-out Joe Brrr. This one makes too much sense. With Burrow’s soon-to-come massive contract extension, he can afford to buy the No. 9 jerseys for a quick jersey switch.
Nick Chubb, RB, Cleveland Browns
Ugh, Myles Garrett would be perfect, but he’s a defensive end in a 4–3 scheme. Let’s go with Chubb, because there are zero players who can single-handedly tackle him. A bit of an exaggeration, but it works for the bruising running back. Just go with it.
CeeDee Lamb, WR, Dallas Cowboys
Lamb has continued the Cowboys’ tradition of star receivers rocking No. 88, but a double zero would look just as nice in a Dallas uniform. He would be the ideal fit for a double zero, but for now, a single zero also works for the playmaking machine.
Patrick Surtain II, CB, Denver Broncos
I’m surprised I went this long without listing a CB, but there’s no better choice in Denver than the shutdown corner who says zero words to his opponents and doesn’t allow receptions on his side of the field.
D'Andre Swift, RB, Detroit Lions
This is where I get upset about offensive linemen not being allowed to sport the zero. Detroit’s nasty bookends of Penei Sewell and Taylor Decker are worthy of the unique number, but for now, they could make Swift look good in the jersey by providing running lanes.
Jaire Alexander, CB, Green Bay Packers
Unlike Surtain, Alexander loves to talk trash, but he’s also known for allowing a low amount of receptions on his side of the field. Zeros are common for Green Bay’s star cornerback.
Dalton Schultz, TE, Houston Texans
Schultz wore the boring No. 86 in Dallas. He has an opportunity to upgrade with the zero jersey while making life easier for the incoming rookie quarterback in H-Town.
Gardner Minshew, QB, Indianapolis Colts
There should be a rule that only one starting quarterback and one backup quarterback are allowed to wear No. 0 in the NFL. Burrow can occupy zero for the starters, and Minshew is cool enough to claim it for the backups. A zero jersey with ripped jean shorts sounds like a nice outfit for a country concert.
Calvin Ridley, WR, Jacksonville Jaguars
Mr. Sub-Zero. I know, it’s sticking.
Tommy Townsend, P, Kansas City Chiefs
It’s become somewhat of a Wilt Chamberlain–like tradition for punters to pose with a sheet that reads “0” after zero punts in a game. Probably no one does that more than Patrick Mahomes’s punter.
Josh Jacobs, RB, Las Vegas Raiders
Jacobs isn’t happy about the Raiders' trading Darren Waller and slapping the franchise tag on him. Zero can mean “no new friends” for the motivated rushing champion in search of a multiyear contract.
Mike Williams, WR, Los Angeles Chargers
I can confidently say zero defensive backs can outjump Williams when it comes to 50-50 balls that are more like 70–30 for the Chargers wideout.
Cooper Kupp, WR, Los Angeles Rams
There’s no such thing as a shutdown corner in games that involve Kupp, the receptions machine that rarely gets shut out from the stat sheet.
Tyreek Hill, WR, Miami Dolphins
Hill and Jalen Ramsey might have to fight for this, but Hill gets the slight edge because he can say without hesitation that no one in the NFL is faster than him.
Justin Jefferson, WR, Minnesota Vikings
No one cooler than the wideout known as JJettas on social media.
Matthew Slater, WR, New England Patriots
Probably no player commands more respect from an organization than Slater, the 16-year veteran with three Super Bowl rings. Zero can be a unique sign of respect for the team’s most valuable leader.
Taysom Hill, QB/TE, New Orleans Saints
Hill might have more void years on his contracts than positions on the field. ChatGPT was probably thinking about Hill when it suggested Void as a nickname for a player sporting zero.
Saquon Barkley, RB, New York Giants
Barkley plays running back, but he can also be described as a positionless player who can do it all for the Giants.
Sauce Gardner, CB, New York Jets
Gardner will likely have several games with zero yards allowed throughout his promising career. Zero can also be for how many days Aaron Rodgers has been a Jet.
DeVonta Smith, WR, Philadelphia Eagles
This slim wideout might have zero carbs in his diet. O.K., at this point I’m running out of zero jokes.
Minkah Fitzpatrick, S, Pittsburgh Steelers
One of the best defensive playmakers in the NFL is deserving of the zero jersey.
Deebo Samuel, WR, San Francisco 49ers
Zero position and number for the “YAC” monster.
DK Metcalf, WR, Seattle Seahawks
Going back to nicknames, DK-0 doesn’t sound bad for the Seahawks’ physical specimen.
Lavonte David, ILB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
This goes back to the respect factor. The longtime Buccaneer can do many things better than skill players, including wearing a zero jersey.
Derrick Henry, RB, Tennessee Titans
A zero can be more of a warning to get out of King Henry’s way.
Terry McLaurin, WR, Washington Commanders
McLaurin’s acrobatic catches might be more unique than a player sporting No. 0.
