Three-times Olympic gold medallist Adam Peaty has bravely opened up about his battle with depression and alcohol, and living with “a devil on his shoulder”.
The 28-year-old confessed his mental health and drinking worsened last year as he struggled with motivation and injury, and a split from artist Eiri Munro, mum of his son George, two.
Britain’s most successful swimmer of all time, Adam has won five Olympic medals including three golds, 16 European Championships, eight Worlds and four Commonwealth Games. He has broken 14 world records.
Yet the champ confessed he “hears voices inside his head” that make him doubt his ability.
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Adam, who partnered with Katya Jones on BBC1’s Strictly Come Dancing in 2021, said: “I felt like I had this devil on my shoulder.
“If I was going out to a race sometimes it would be ‘you don’t deserve this’, even though I’ve done seven, eight, 10 years of work.”
Adam, from Uttoxeter, Staffs, missed out on a Commonwealth 100-metre medal in Birmingham last year, coming fourth after breaking his foot.
He said: “As athletes, our brains are wired a little bit differently, we are constantly chasing reward.
“How do you fill that void, especially when you’re injured or in off-season? You’re constantly looking for a high or a reward and a lot of athletes do struggle with alcohol.
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“It was something that I was constantly doing and I was like ‘I don’t want this in my life’.”
Adam told the BBC he had realised success will not automatically make everything better.
He added: “A gold medal is the coldest thing you will ever wear because you think it will fix all of your problems. It will not.”
Having been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, Adam said that he took some time off from “this endless search for a gold medal or a world record”. But now he is looking forward to competing in next year’s Olympic Games in Paris.
He added: “Hopefully, when I get to the Olympics I will be in a very good mindset, very grateful and, most importantly, happy.”