David Hytner was at the Tose Proeski Arena tonight. His verdict has landed. Thanks for reading this MBM. Nighty night.
Gareth Southgate talks to Channel 4. “The really big results were in March … winning in Italy and the result against Ukraine … it meant coming here tonight was a different sort of test … given everything had already been achieved the mentality was excellent … the quality with the ball was good on a very difficult pitch … the final pass was difficult to find against their defence … there were lots of positive performances … Rico Lewis was excellent … his composure with the ball … the fact he responded to the setback, which was really harsh … he’s a super footballer.”
Harry Kane speaks to Channel 4. “A difficult game … we knew it was going to be tough … coming away from home against a decent side … on a pitch that’s difficult to play our style of football … credit to the boys, we went behind against the run of play to a soft penalty and second half we came back with a real energy … we couldn’t get the final finish … it was a shame we couldn’t get another to get another win … I’m pretty sure it was an own goal … I know people expect us to win by five or six but these done a job on Italy in the World Cup to knock them out … we can be proud by the way the qualification campaign has gone … Rico Lewis can be really proud of his debut … I’m sure he’ll be back with us.”
England finish their Group C campaign unbeaten. They’ll end the calendar year of 2023 unbeaten, and they’ll go into the Euro 2024 draw as one of the six top seeds. They’ve not been particularly impressive during the Jude Bellingham interregnum of the last five days, but all the hard work was done earlier in the year against Italy, so on the whole, you have to say this job qualifies as a good one.
England 20pts (Q)
Italy 14 (Q)
Ukraine 14 (P)
North Macedonia 8
Malta 0
FULL TIME: North Macedonia 1-1 England
… so that’s that.
90 min +5: “I think there’s going to be a late twist,” ventures Channel 4 seer Dion Dublin.
90 min +4: England are pressing for the winner, albeit in not particularly convincing style. “Dion Dublin says Rashford’s not set his sights yet, he’s only been on a few minutes,” reports Damian Clarke. “It was nearly ten yards wide!”
90 min +3: North Macedonia take their time over a throw in the classic clock-management style.
90 min +1: A free kick for England, the best part of 30 yards out. Rashford takes and pulls it miles wide left.
90 min: Atanasov is replaced by Elezi. There will be six additional minutes.
88 min: Walker skittles Elmas out on the left wing. On Channel 4, Dion Dublin, whose co-commentary has consisted of little more than a series of affronted yelps and barks of one-eyed bluster, deems it “a clean challenge.” Serafimov meets the free kick and heads over the bar. Pickford had it covered.
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86 min: Ashkovski comes on for Dimoski.
85 min: More pantomime boos for Maguire, who sends a bouncing ball back to Pickford. The keeper is forced to hack wildly out of play before being closed down. The crowd cheer. Pickford’s none too happy with his defender, who has had a mixed evening to say the least.
84 min: England make a triple change. Saka, Alexander-Arnold and Grealish make way for Palmer, Rashford and Phillips.
82 min: Dimoski hassles Grealish a bit too readily out on the left. Free kick, which Foden swings long for Maguire at the far post. Maguire rises highest and plants a header straight at Dimitrievski. He’s penalised anyway for pressing his palm on the top of Musliu’s noggin while leaping.
80 min: Kane wins a corner down the right. Foden sends it long for Maguire, who slaps a header harmlessly wide left.
79 min: Alexander-Arnold feeds Grealish down the left. Grealish overhits his cross. England are huffing and puffing a bit here.
77 min: Guehi’s poor ball out from the back is snaffled by Dimoski, who rampages upfield. England are fortunate that Dimoski’s pass wide left to Elmas rolls behind the man, allowing Walker to get back and put a stop to the break. “Tim Berners-Lee Dixon,” hacks Andrew Goudie.
75 min: North Macedonia make a double change. Off go Miovski and Alimi, on come Kostadinov and Ristovski.
74 min: Kane, probing from deep, nearly releases Alexander-Arnold down the middle with a clever reverse pass. Not quite, but full marks for vision.
72 min: Lewis lashes the ball into the net from six yards. Unfortunately play had already stopped, Saka rather ludicrously penalised for a non-challenge on Alioski, who fell of his own accord while contesting a high ball on the edge of the six-yard box. North Macedonia get away with one there … although a more pedantic referee may have taken issue with Lewis belting the ball home in frustration, and he’s already been booked. I mean, it would have been beyond ridiculous … but you know how officialdom rolls sometimes.
71 min: Lewis crosses from the left. Saka traps, spins and shoots from the penalty spot. Blocked. Foden is furious, he was clear to Saka’s right and wanted playing in.
69 min: If there was any lingering confusion, the England equaliser has been confirmed by Uefa to have been scored by Atanasov. Kane remains on 62 international goals.
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67 min: … so having said that, there’s a sudden drop in pace and intensity. If nothing else, it allows us to turn once again to Alun Pugh’s password-hacking mission. “Back in the day Mathew DIAL UPson would have have been a shout,” writes Ian Sargeant, “but surely the password wold be Ctrl Alt DELEte ALI?”
65 min: Alexander-Arnold’s flicked clearance is blocked and falls to Elmas, who has a crack from distance. His shot twangs off a white shirt and out for a corner, from which nothing comes. Both teams are well up for this.
63 min: Elmas tussles with Grealish on the edge of the England box. Given he’s already been booked, he’s seriously stress-testing the referee’s patience here.
61 min: England suddenly look transformed. They’re pushing the hosts back and probing hither and yon. Foden crosses from the left. Dimoski high-kicks away from goal. Did the ball hit his arm? Neither referee nor VAR show interest in giving a penalty.
GOAL! North Macedonia 1-1 England (Atanasov og 59)
… with his first touch, steers Foden’s cross into the bottom left with a stooping header! Ah, hold on, it came off Atanasov. But it was Kane’s sheer presence that forced his opponent into the mistake.
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58 min: Before the corner is taken, Kane comes on for Watkins. And …
57 min: Alexander-Arnold calms down quickly and showcases his better side. First he nearly finds Lewis with an outrageous outside-of-boot cross from the right. Then a long-distance curler towards the top right is deflected out for a corner.
56 min: Alexander-Arnold thinks he’s won a throw down the right. It’s North Macedonia’s, though. He slams the ball to the turf petulantly and is booked.
54 min: Grealish is relentless. He comes again down the left and is fairly unfortunate not to win a free kick after some particularly close attention from Manev. He has a moan at the referee, and you can see his point.
52 min: Guehi catches Bardhi on the knee. Just a free kick. North Macedonia load the box, but Alioski lumps the set piece over everyone’s head and out for a goal kick.
51 min: Grealish responds excellently to the disappointment, chasing after a clever Foden flick down the middle. For a second it looks like he’ll get a chance to shoot from the edge of the box, but he’s quickly swarmed by red shirts and Dimitrievski comes off his line to collect.
NO GOAL! North Macedonia 1-0 England
Yep, it was fairly obviously offside. No idea why the VAR took so long. Shame that Saka’s sensational work was all for nothing.
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49 min: A long VAR check.
48 min: However there’s going to be a VAR check. Grealish may well have been a smidgen offside.
GOAL! North Macedonia 1-1 England (Grealish 47)
Saka dribbles elegantly in from the right, drawing four red shirts before threading a cross across the face of goal. Grealish gets in ahead of Dimoski and taps home from a couple of yards. Grealish gets the credit but that’s all about Saka’s brilliance!
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46 min: Maguire takes up possession a couple of times and is booed in the pantomime style, presumably for his role in the incident just before the break, and perhaps that ludicrous challenge on Elmas that could easily have ended in a penalty. “I should be used to the one-eyed jingoism of most pundits during England matches by now,” writes Tom Atkins, “but Dion Dublin’s pathetic dismissal of what looked like a very good penalty shout still got my goat. For some reason I expected better from Channel 4.”
North Macedonia get the second half underway. No changes.
Half-time e-letters. “You can debate the relative merits of England’s assorted right backs until the cows come home,” begins Matt Dony. “He may not be top of the pile defensively, but there are very few right backs, or indeed footballers, who strike a ball as aesthetically pleasingly as Alexander-Arnold. The photo halfway down the MBM is a thing of beauty.”
“Right! That’s it – not good enough,” booms Charles Antaki. “Come the hour, come the hero – bring on Hendo!”
“The list of prohibited items may be worth a mention,” writes our man Philip Cornwall, out in Skopje on a busman’s holiday. He quotes the England supporters travel club … and yes, it does seem a little over-zealous. “Local authorities are advising supporters to avoid bringing keys with them to the stadium if they can avoid doing so. However, they do understand there will be circumstances where this is not possible (e.g. hire cars, hotels, Airbnb, etc). We have also been advised that the following items will be taken from supporters upon entry; vapes, phone chargers/charging banks, coins, lighters. We have been informed that ‘small handbags’ will be allowed into the stadium but normal-sized backpacks are still forbidden.” At least they’ve let him keep his trousers.
“Google Ehiogu,” suggests our old friend Alex Ross. “ISDN Dublin. And now I will stop, promise.”
HALF TIME: North Macedonia 1-0 England
We’re halfway to a shock in Skopje.
45 min +5: VAR’s not interested. Maguire is furious that Dimitrievski has accused him of play-acting. England could probably do with hearing the whistle so they can calm down during the break.
45 min +4: The corner’s whistled into the mixer. Elmas catches a stooping Maguire with his boot. Guehi had been lightly shoved from behind as well. VAR wants a look at this.
45 min +3: In the London-bus style, another shot on target follows almost immediately! Alexander-Arnold sends a rising, swerving drive goalwards, and Dimitrievski tips over the bar. Fine football all round.
45 min +1: Lewis, who has played very well despite the penalty incident, threads a shot towards the bottom right from the edge of the D. A bit more power and he might have beaten Dimitrievski. He smiles wryly. At least that’s a shot on target now.
45 min: There will be four additional first-half minutes. “The look on the ref’s face tells me he knows it’s not a penalty, but he’s been told if it’s sent for review, he has to give it,” writes Hugh Molloy. “Ludicrous. Saying that, the Maguire one was a clear foul and penalty!”
43 min: Lewis responds well to his misfortune, battling away down the left flank and winning a free kick out of what initially looked like an unpromising situation. The hosts deal with Alexander-Arnold’s delivery easily enough. England have yet to work Dimitrievski, they haven’t had a shot on target. To be fair, Rice hit the post, but the numbers are bare.
42 min: That’s not the sort of decision that’s made every day. Some referees would have let that go. Lewis cops for a booking instead. The Maguire incident looked more a penalty, to be honest. Some sort of karmic balance?
GOAL! North Macedonia 1-0 England (Bardhi 41)
Bardhi sends the penalty to the right. It’s not a good spot kick. Pickford parries brilliantly … but the ball pings back to Bardhi, who slots into the bottom left with the keeper prone. Pickford so unlucky. North Macedonia lead!
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40 min: … but a hand in the face is a hand in the face. Bardhi steps up and …
Penalty to North Macedonia!
39 min: The referee draws a TV screen in the air, then points at the spot. Penalty! Poor Rico Lewis, giving away a spot kick on his debut. He’s confused as to why it’s been given.
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38 min: Lewis goes up for a loose high ball with Miovski. He claps his hand in the striker’s face. Miovski goes down. VAR is going to have a look at this. The referee goes over to the screen for a look. A long look.
36 min: Watkins spins Musliu with outrageous ease and tears clear down the middle. He aims for the top left, but Dimitrievski claws out marvellously. Then the flag goes up, Watkins having gently shoved the North Macedonian defender in the back.
35 min: Another Foden corner from the left. Serafimov heads clear comfortably. Meanwhile Andrew Goudie offers Hotspot Hamish.
33 min: Atanasov clanks Lewis to the ground. No yellow card for that one, either, though after his wrestle with Walker, he’s beginning to push his luck now.
32 min: Saka reaches the byline on the right and pulls back into a sparsely populated Macedonian box. Grealish is this close to connecting, 12 yards out. England have come close on a few occasions, though Dimitrievski hasn’t had much work to do as of yet.
30 min: Foden curls a cute low ball into the box from a deep position on the left. Had Watkins not remembered to cut his toenails last night, he’d be poking home. So close to meeting that fine pass with a telescopic leg.
29 min: Maguire halts a three-man North Macedonian break with an improvised diving header. He was about two inches above the turf. Imagine someone throwing a roll of carpet out of the back of a van at the tip. Well, that.
27 min: Foden nearly springs Grealish down the left but Dimoski does very well to close the route to the box.
25 min: That’s given North Macedonia succour, though. Musliu takes on Walker down the left in a footrace, and draws a foul for his cheek. Bardhi takes the free kick, which is essentially a corner, and hits it long for Atanasov, who can’t meet it at the far post. Goal kick. Better from the hosts, who up until Maguire’s little performance, had shown nothing in attack.
23 min: Maguire slams a dreadful pass straight at Miovski, who instantly slips Elmas clear down the left. Elmas enters the box only to be shoved from behind by Maguire, desperate to make up for his mistake. Which he’s done, but only because the referee deems the challenge fair. You’ve seen penalties given for much less. The denizens of the National Arena Todor Proeski are livid.
22 min: Foden goes dancing down the left and wins a corner off Dimoksi. England load the box in anticipation of Foden’s delivery … but for once Foden’s radar is way off, and he pulls a poor ball behind Guehi and away from the box.
21 min: Alioski catches Saka from behind. This is getting a little scrappy, in more ways than one. On the touchline, Gareth Southgate throws his arms out wide in exasperation.
19 min: Atanasov is fairly fortunate to avoid similar punishment for wrestling Walker around the neck. In the meantime, Alex Ross has had a change of heart over the password: “Actually it’s AndySinton-et.”
17 min: Elmas is booked for crudely stopping an in-flight Saka. He considers the punishment harsh and tells the referee as much. The free kick’s then flung into the mixer, where Maguire is caught offside.
15 min: Foden crosses from the left. Watkins is unchallanged, six yards out. He tries to steer a header back across the rooted keeper Dimitrievski but sends it wide left. On target, that was in.
14 min: Grealish probes down the left and cuts the ball back for Rice, who takes one touch infield and, from the edge of the box, laces a low shot off the base of the right-hand post. The ball pings harmlessly away. What a fine effort that was! Meanwhile Alex Ross offers Alun Pugh “gabbyagbONLINEhor”, referencing the legendary three-cap wonder of 2008-09.
12 min: Grealish goes down for a bit having been charged off the ball by Manev. He’s not happy, but the referee’s not particularly interested in what looked like a garden-variety challenge.
10 min: Alexander-Arnold sits deep in the quarterback style, before flinging a long pass down the inside-right channel, nearly releasing Walker. Not quite. A relatively quiet start to the game, though England have gently assumed a semblance of control.
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8 min: Bardhi attempts to release Miovski down the left with a spectacular volleyed pass. Just a bit too much weight on it, and Pickford is able to come to the edge of his box to claim.
6 min: Lewis now doing his defensive duties, ushering Dimoski off the pitch just as it looked like the North Macedonia winger was going to burst clear. A busy and impressive start for the new boy.
4 min: … the ball breaks back to Lewis, who hoicks over the bar spectacularly. What an introduction to international football that would have been! The young Manchester City star not inclined to go hiding.
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3 min: Grealish and Rice combine cutely down the inside-left channel, the former crossing low for Watkins at the near post. Watkins can’t quite prod home from close range. The ball’s deflected out for a corner, from which …
1 min: Lewis’s debut begins, and he’s immediately barged off the ball by Alimi, who sends Miovski skittering free down the right. But it was an overly aggressive shove, and the whistle goes. Alimi wags his finger in disapproval. Welcome to international football, young man.
England get the ball rolling. “How about neilWEBb,” offers Tom Marlow, because somebody was going to get there sooner or later.
The teams are out! North Macedonia in red with yellow flashes on the shirt, England white tops with blue breeks. We’ll be off in a couple of minutes, once the anthems are done. Meanwhile Antony Train thinks Alan Pugh (7.33pm) has given the FA way too much credit regarding their passwords: “Obviously 123456, keep going depending how many characters are needed. If it needs letters and all that stuff, try J0rd@nknowssokeepp1ckingh1m.”
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Gareth Southgate talks to Channel 4. “Clearly Ollie’s game is different to Harry’s, so it’s for us to adapt to his way of playing … we’re not expecting him to come and build as Harry might … he’s got great strengths running in behind teams and pressing from the front … we want to play to his qualities, not the other way round … I want Rico Lewis to enjoy his game … it’s a brilliant moment for him … he’s looked really comfortable with the group … we want to get him into advanced areas when he has possession with the ball … the criticism [after the Malta game] was fair, we didn’t play as well as we would have liked and didn’t use the ball well enough … we were also a little disjointed without the ball so we’ve been looking at both aspects … I hope we use the ball better tonight than we did but also be decisive when we get chances … if your aim is to be the best in the world then every day that guides your training and the way you work in every aspect … we’re still short of where we’d like to be … we’ve got to look forward and make the most of games like tonight.”
Urgent IT assistance required. “I was passing through Doha a few days ago en route to Yerevan for the Welsh game,” begins Alun Pugh. “I found myself inadvertently staying in the hotel that served as the base for the England team at the Qatar World Cup. They had many framed jerseys on display but what really interested me was that the FA seemed to have left a few routers in situ. My phone picked up signals for ‘3 Lions’ and so on. I tried logging in with obvious passwords such as ‘TofiqBahramov’ and ‘penalties’ etc all to no avail. Can readers offer other suggestions?”
Did you try aLANshearer? I’ve got nothing else. Yes, best farm this one out to the readers.
A reminder that while this match is not much more than glorified fixture administration, there’s some really meaningful Group C action going down in Leverkusen tonight. Italy need to avoid defeat against Ukraine to make it through to the finals, else it’s the play-offs for the reigning European champions, and as their absences from the last two World Cups illustrate, they’re not too clever at those. Rob Smyth, fresh from OBOing Uruguay v Brazil in the cricket – a joke for all of you cross-disciplinary World-Cup-final heads out there - is all over that one.
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Harry Kane drops to the bench and Rico Lewis debuts as Gareth Southgate makes six changes to the England starting XI from the 2-0 win over Malta. Ollie Watkins replaces Kane up front, while Kyle Walker comes in to stand in as captain. Jack Grealish, Declan Rice and Bukayo Saka also start.
The teams
North Macedonia: Dimitrievski, Manev, Serafimov, Musliu, Dimoski, Bardhi, Atanasov, Alimi, Alioski, Miovski, Elmas.
Subs: Kostadinov, Askovski, Iljazovski, Elezi, Churlinov, Mitrovski, Milan Ristovski, Todoroski, Aleksovski, Daci, Ademi, Siskovski.
England: Pickford, Walker, Guehi, Maguire, Lewis, Alexander-Arnold, Rice, Saka, Foden, Grealish, Watkins.
Subs: Gallagher, Kane, Ramsdale, Phillips, Tomori, Rashford, Johnstone, Konsa, Palmer, Henderson.
Referee: Filip Glova (Slovakia).
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Preamble
England have already qualified for Euro 2024 as winners of Group C, and if they manage a draw tonight against a team they beat 7-0 five months ago, they’ll be guaranteed to be among the top seeds for the tournament draw. The jeopardy isn’t particularly high, then, so if you still need a reason to tune in, consider that tonight’s match surely can’t be worse than this …
Kick off is at 7.45pm GMT. It’s on.
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