Over the past 12 months, Jess Jonassen has won the Ashes, the Cricket World Cup trophy and a historic Commonwealth Games gold medal.
But it doesn't matter how many achievements the Australian allrounder ticks off on the field, she won't be able to fill the void in her heart.
See, Jonassen lost her father Ray to cancer in February 2021, and a year or so on, she's still learning how to celebrate the big moments without him.
Ray and cricket had always been a constant in her life, they were a package deal, and now that one exists without the other, it doesn't quite feel the same.
"Dad was one of my biggest supporters… harshest critic, but biggest supporters," Jonassen told the ABC.
"When I was a kid, we'd spend probably three hours playing cricket in the middle of the summer in Rockhampton where it was upwards of 40 degrees, and not once did he complain.
"That was just what we did together and I owe him a lot."
Now he's gone, the world No.2 ranked ODI bowler is dealing with grief as a "daily thing" and relying on the support of her family to get through.
"There's always going to be some sort of void there because Dad was such a significant part of my life and played a huge role in my career ... if ever I'm in a game and I play an awful shot, I'll think to myself: 'Oh gosh, I know exactly what Dad would be saying here'.
"But one thing that particularly my Mum and my sisters are really good at, is that we talk openly about it and recognise when we're struggling … it helps to know that we still have people here that love us and that his memory can live on."
World Cup memories
Earlier this year, on the anniversary of his death, Jonassen jetted off to New Zealand to prepare for the Women's Cricket World Cup – an event the Australian women's team had been building towards for almost five years.
They'd bowed out of the same tournament in 2017 against India with much disappointment and it had been a huge turning point for the group.
From then on, they'd win two T20 World Cups, retain the Ashes three times and set a new record in men's and women's international cricket with a 26-match ODI winning streak.
But the World Cup trophy was the real catalyst spurring them on, and although Jonassen knew how hard they'd worked to get there, she was devastated to be leaving the country.
"The day we flew out for the 50-over World Cup was the anniversary of his passing, and that was one of the hardest days, I cried the whole flight knowing I couldn't be with my family.
"A few of the players knew and some gave me a hug, others kept their distance, and then once we arrived we went straight into quarantine.
"I didn't mind it though because I just wanted to be alone and reflect … I played some songs that reminded me of him, put my sunnies on, looked out the window and just let it all out."
There were periods throughout the tournament where Jonassen struggled mentally, but the plane ride home with the trophy in hand was an entirely different experience.
"My emotions going over and then coming back was like one extreme to the next," she said.
"There were down times in between, which I now accept is probably going to be a lifelong thing, but he definitely made an appearance or two over there."
Although Ray may have missed her latest World Cup victory, Jonassen takes comfort in the fact he was present for perhaps the biggest night of her career.
Back in March 2020, her partner, mother, father, sister, brother-in-law, and niece and nephew, all made the trip from Rockhampton to the MCG for the T20 World Cup Final to watch Australia defeat India in front of a record 86,174 crowd.
"That night was extremely huge for me," Jonassen said.
"At that point, Dad had had cancer for a few years and his immunotherapy treatment had stopped working so he was sort of in that limbo phase between working out what was next, do we do more rounds of chemo? Do we know how that's going to work?
"That was one of the last moments where he was sort of well enough to come … to be honest, I don't think he ever would have missed it regardless of what state he was in, because he understood its significance."
"I vividly remember walking into the change rooms after the game and seeing my parents beaming, giving them a hug and just feeling their pride.
"In that moment it felt like they knew how much I appreciated everything they had done, and I've always been big on that, I know I wouldn't be where I am without them.
"I love looking back at photos from that night, because my Dad was having the time of his life, holding the trophy, posing next to a Katy Perry bat … he was lapping it up just as much as we were."
Life goes on — the ladybug tribute
Some people associate ladybugs with good luck, but for the Jonassen clan, its symbolism has a stronger meaning.
After Ray's passing, the three sisters paid tribute to their dad with matching tattoos on their right wrists.
This way, he would always be facing towards them and could easily be crossed over their chest and placed on the heart.
"For some reason he just loved ladybugs," Jonassen said.
"Whenever he would send us girls a text message, he would always put, like, 15 emojis at the end and so many of them wouldn't make sense, but without fail, there was always a ladybug.
"Now, at random times, a ladybug will just come and land on me and quite often it's at cricket … So yeah, I constantly get little reminders of him."
"You know how I said he made a couple of appearances in New Zealand?
"Well, I had a ladybug sitting on my chest for half of our batting innings – actually for the entirety of Alyssa Healy's innings – it wouldn't get off me, I believe in that stuff."
The past year may have been filled with plenty of sorrow, but the family has a lot to look forward to over the next 12 months, as both Jonassen and her sister are due to be married.
For Jess in particular, it's been a long time coming, considering she's been with her partner Sarah for 10 years and the pair have already previously tried getting married twice.
"The poor girl … the first time COVID got in the way, the second time a few personal things prevented it from happening, but we have started feeling like the time might be right again," Jonassen said.
"We'll probably just end up eloping somewhere, we don't really want to do the traditional thing anymore because it just won't feel the same.
"My sister Laura is also getting married in December, she's talked about having a seat reserved there with a photo of Dad, but for Sarah and me, I think it'll just be the thought of knowing he's always there with me, on my wrist.
"He loved Sarah and knowing the journey my family have been on with me coming out and being in a same-sex relationship, towards the end of Dad's life she was very much a part of the family and there was nothing but love there, so knowing that will be enough."
