I always swore that I would write a novel telling the story of my husband’s abusive behaviour, including the appalling things he did when he discovered that I was going to divorce him. The terrible thing is that when you have children and love them very much, the abuse can be perpetuated through them. To protect them, I have kept quiet. I feel very keenly the distress of this woman who cannot tell her story, because no court has found the family abuser guilty of anything and he could sue her for defamation if he did not like reading the truth about himself (Why I could not tell my story of domestic abuse in my book – or put my name to this piece, 31 July).
I have an ingenious solution. The hundreds of women who want to tell their story of domestic abuse should send their work to a collective, and the names of the authors reallocated at random, so that real stories are told, but they can be considered works of fiction as they did not happen to the designated authors. Getting the stories out there will help protect victims who do not understand that a cunning partner can beat them in more ways than one.
Name and address supplied
• I know exactly how the author of this article feels. My story has yet to be made public and perhaps can now be as the perpetrator is dead. But that doesn’t give me the sense that I want of retribution or, at least, public shame. I have over the years told a few good friends of my abuse, and that has helped erase the stigma that one feels. But it would have been so wonderful if the perpetrator had been brought to justice in some way or at least publicly shamed. He went scot‑free and it has always preyed on my mind. Oh to be free of the thoughts and nightmares that occur. I hope that some day the anonymous writer’s story can be told publicly with her name attached. Good luck to her.
Name and address supplied
• My family lived with domestic abuse from my father in all its forms for many years. My mother was regularly beaten, kept short of money, raped and psychologically abused. As children (myself, my sister and two brothers) we were witnesses and victims. We never spoke about it back then, we just internalised the trauma. My mother did contact the police when things were particularly severe, but my father just got a ticking off on the doorstep; no further action taken.
My father, rather than spending his earnings on his family, would hoard and invest. After his death, I was told that he got close to being worth £1m prior to the 2008 financial crash, a tidy sum for an unskilled labourer.
About a year before he passed, he approached me, wanting to make amends. He wasn’t ill at the time and, over the course of the coming months, we forged a civil relationship. When he did become ill and was hospitalised, he said he was eager to change his will to include his family. I arranged this for him, but he passed prior to signing.
His original will left a very large sum to several charities. I appealed to them via solicitors for a percentage. I explained the circumstances of our family life and the domestic abuse, and that their donations were born out of our deprivation as children. They took it all without question.
Name and address supplied
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