Nicole Kidman is reflecting on one of the most difficult aspects of getting older.
In a new interview with GQ to promote her forthcoming movie Babygirl, in which she stars opposite Harris Dickinson, Kidman discussed the reason she's started experiencing sleep issues.
"Mortality," the Oscar-winner told the outlet. "Connection. Life coming and hitting you. And loss of parents and raising children and marriage and all of the things that go into making you a fully sentient human." She continued, "I'm in all of those places. So life is, whew. It's definitely a journey."
The Big Little Lies star shared the particularly traumatic way all of these concerns about life affect her each night. "And it hits you as you get older how... it's a wake up at 3 a.m. crying and gasping kind of thing. If you're in it and not numbing yourself to it. And I'm in it. Fully in it."
In September, Kidman announced the death of her mother, Janelle, at the age of 84. In a statement, the actress wrote (via The Guardian), "I'm in shock, and I have to go to my family... She shaped me, she guided me, and she made me." Kidman continued, "The collision of life and art is heartbreaking... And my heart is broken."
During her interview with GQ, Kidman elaborated on why she's drawn to certain projects, and how her emotions figure into her decision-making.
Sharing that she recently cried while watching Past Lives and Inside Out 2, Kidman explained, "I cry, I do... I consider myself open to emotions." When the interviewer suggested that the actress' emotions were "very close to the surface," Kidman responded, "More so now. Even more so."
As she's so in touch with her emotions, Kidman also shared that she finds herself becoming too connected to her work at times. "You can absolutely tell when people are phoning something in," she told GQ. "For me, that doesn't work. I'm not moved by that."
Kidman's dedication to her craft makes an indelible mark on her personal life, too. "I get sick or I get disturbed," she revealed. "It penetrates my dreams, I don't sleep well, I shake, I have all sorts of different physical manifestations from it."
Unsurprisingly, playing Celeste, a woman who experiences domestic abuse, in Big Little Lies had a huge impact on her body and mind.
"Your body is just going, Oh right, this is happening, and I'm responding as anyone does to stress," Kidman said.
