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Nick and Vanessa Lachey have revealed the secret to their long lasting marriage: couples therapy.
In an interview with TODAY Parents, Nick Lachey shared that not only has couples therapy allowed he and his wife to “actively listen to each other and provide feedback” in helpful ways, but it’s also made them better parents to their three children – Camden, nine, Brooklyn, seven, and Phoenix, five.
“We went before we got married and we still go to this day,” Nick, 48, told the outlet. “I think that’s an important part of maintaining a strong relationship.”
“Your kids are absorbing your energy and your vibe, and if it’s tense and it’s not working, they’re going to pick up on that. That’s detrimental to them,” he added. “The healthier you are as a couple, the healthier you are going to be as parents.”
There’s no shame in attending couples therapy, but it may be difficult for some to admit when it’s time you and your partner talked to a professional about issues in your relationship. For Nick Lachey, he likens couples therapy to practicing a sport.
“If you want to be the best athlete you can be, are you not going to take private lessons? No, you’re going to do everything you can to be the best,” he told TODAY Parents. “Marriage is challenging – and getting sound advice from an impartial third party is one of the healthiest things you could possibly do.”
Nick and Vanessa Lachey have been married since 2011 and are currently the co-hosts of a few Netflix reality dating series including Love is Blind and The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On.
While the 98 Degrees singer acknowledged that the two still have their fair share of arguments, he believes what’s more important is how they communicate during a disagreement.
“Disagreements are part of any relationship – whether it’s a friendship or a marriage,” he said. “What matters is how you reconcile those disagreements. You need to treat each other with respect even when you don’t see eye-to-eye on something. You want to set a good example for your kids.”
Nick and Vanessa Lachey have previously been open about how therapy has been beneficial to their relationship. During the reunion special of their hit Netflix show The Ultimatum, which premiered on 6 April, Vanessa confessed that they both used to go through each other’s phones at one point in their relationship. However, she shared that they were seeing a “therapist” at the time, who told them that if they were to continue looking at each other’s devices, they “shouldn’t be together”.
“I remember we went to a therapist, and she was like, ‘If y’all are going through each other’s phones, then you shouldn’t be together,” Vanessa added. “I was like, ‘You’re right. I need to trust this man and he needs to trust me.’”
Nick and Vanessa Lachey began dating shortly after his divorce from his ex-wife Jessica Simpson, which was finalised in 2006. According to Vanessa, Nick’s “very public” divorce and marriage was “very hard” on their relationship.
She recalled during the sixth episode of The Ultimatum that the two “truly committed to each other” when they decided to let go for public perceptions about them. “We literally fell deeper and harder than we ever could,” she said.”