SAN DIEGO — Kyler Murray's dog didn't like the taste of the quarterback's homework, so his blushing bosses broke down and ate it for him.
No more mandatory study hall for Kyler.
To avoid taking a fiscal loss, the Arizona Cardinals QB — who, as Cole Porter wrote, has the nimble tread on the feet of Fred Astaire — signed up to be embarrassingly sacked. By friendly fire.
At least it was supposed to be friendly. But this was a Deacon Jones head slap in strength, and a Will Smith in humiliation.
Included in his new $230 million contract, was a clause stating he had to study film/whatever four hours a week, outside the office. It wasn't supposed to be leaked, but somebody in the organization cracked the pipe, and it became a cascading cause celebre.
It told us something. Cards brass obviously felt Murray wasn't doing enough off the field to reach his potential — which is considerable. There could be no other reason for putting in such unprecedented language.
Four hours would seem like a few seconds for a top quarterback. Tom Brady, who's won seven Super Bowls, reportedly watches film 50 hours a week, although some of that may be shots of him posing and doing various chores around the house.
No one knows why Kyler signed this in the first place (he does have an agent). Maybe he was dazzled by the $150 million in guaranteed money. But when the homework clause was revealed, the enormous unsocial media fan was out there and the manure hit it with great force.
And so the organization did a Mike Haynes backpedal and removed the clause from the contract.
Have to wonder how it was going to be monitored, anyway. Were the bosses going to put a camera in Murray's home, assign a football nanny to watch over him and report back? Would a bell go off when his time was up?
But there's little chance of getting this stuffing back in the turkey. No matter what anyone says on his behalf — including USC's Lincoln Riley, who says he was concerned Kyler worked too hard when he coached the Heisman winner at Oklahoma — it may be gone from the contract, but the damage is in indelible ink.
Unless he wins a Lombardi or two, he's always going to have this hanging over his helmet.
Since that fateful day, when Eve told Adam she had a hankering for fruit and he was picked off by the Big Cornerback In The Sky, QBs have manned the most important helm in sports, as the great generals have on the fields of battle.
They didn't become great without planning and studying the opposition. A quarterback, no matter how gifted, has no chance of excellence without putting in the extra work.
I have seen it firsthand. Can't forget it.
A few decades back, I was hanging in the lobby of The NFL Team That Used To Be Here's headquarters after practice. Ryan Leaf walked past me and left the building carrying his golf clubs. As he headed for the links, in came backup quarterback Moses Moreno, carrying his playbook.
Leaf never put in the work. Nor did JaMarcus Russell, the uber-talented QB drafted first overall by the Raiders in 2007, who admits he didn't put in the work and take care of his overweight body. He became a bigger flop than Leaf.
Perhaps my favorite quote from any coach came from Mike Riley, after I asked him how Leaf's bum shoulder was coming along.
"I don't know," Mike said. "I tried talking to him on the phone this morning, but couldn't hear him over the slot machines."
QBs are the highest-paid athletes in sports for a reason. And it isn't because they look good in cruisewear.
