Week 6 was proof that anything can happen on any given Sunday. Several of the league’s top teams were defeated, including the remaining unbeatens. After an unlucky weekend for many teams at the top, here are the power rankings going into Week 7.
32. Carolina Panthers
Last Week: 31
If only the Dolphins had spotted the Panthers a 35-point lead instead of a 14-point lead, maybe they could have held on and won.
31. New York Giants
Last Week: 32
The Giants had more passing yards and rushing yards than the Bills. They also had fewer fumbles lost, fewer interceptions, and missed fewer field goals- they still lost. And according to The Athletic, they are the first team to lose in that situation. Teams were 134-0 in that scenario up until Sunday night. New York is impressively bad.
30. Denver Broncos
Last Week: 30
Russell Wilson didn’t eclipse 100 passing yards, he looked like 2022 Russell Wilson, and the Broncos haven’t beaten the Chiefs since Barack Obama’s second term.
29. Arizona Cardinals
Last Week: 28
The Cardinals are that kid in pee-wee soccer practice who tries and tries and tries. Then when they finally score a goal, everyone is really happy.
28. New England Patriots
Last Week: 26
Every great empire falls- Roman, Byzantine, Ottoman, and now, New England. The Patriots went 10 quarters without scoring a touchdown and their expired Yoplait yogurt cup at quarterback is throwing to a bunch of guys that no one else wanted. They are a bad football team.
27. Chicago Bears
Last Week: 29
Tyson Bagent may be starting next week, which basically sums up the Bears’ season thus far.
26. Tennessee Titans
Last Week: 27
What a dung smoothie the Titans are. Malik Willis took 15 snaps after Ryan Tannehill went down- he was sacked on five of them. At least Tyjae Spears is fun?
25. Atlanta Falcons
Last Week: 25
If Arthur Smith trots out Desmond Ridder next week, there will be a mutiny in Atlanta- it needs to be Taylor Heinicke time.
24. New Orleans Saints
Last Week: 22
The third team in Disasterpiece Theater’s “Man, the NFC is quite bollocks, innit?” trilogy. New Orleans’ offense has scored 20 points or less in five of six games thus far. The defense is doing all it can, but the offense isn’t holding up its end of the bargain.
23. Las Vegas Raiders
Last Week: 24
It looks like the Raiders are going to trick themselves into believing they are a playoff threat because they are 3-3, but let me be the first to tell you- they are not. It was fun watching them beat up New England, though, I’ll admit that.
22. Washington Commanders
Last Week: 23
Sam Howell is like Bane. If he has his venom, he’ll be a pain to handle. If he doesn’t, then it’s quite easy to put the Commanders in Arkham. Washington’s defense also picked off Desmond Ridder three times, which was great to see after the Bears carved them up.
21. Green Bay Packers
Last Week: 18
Hopefully the bye week lets Jordan Love to calm down, eat a few cheese curds, and get back to the guy we saw in Weeks 1 and 2.
20. Minnesota Vikings
Last Week: 21
They’ve won two games against two bad teams and haven’t looked good in either one of them. Kirk Cousins isn’t waving that no-trade clause, either, so it doesn’t look like they’ll be in position to take one of the top quarterbacks this April.
19. Indianapolis Colts
Last Week: 15
It truly stinks that Anthony Richardson might have to be shut down for the rest of the season. That said, the team has a ton of heart- they are the Cardinals with more talent and ability to win more games. They take a sizable fall though after getting their butts handed to them on a platter by the Jaguars, though.
18. Cleveland Browns
Last Week: 20
In the last year, P.J. Walker-led teams have beaten Tom Brady and the Buccaneers, and now the undefeated 49ers. Jim Schwartz and the defense also deserve an abundant amount of credit for making Brock Purdy look like Johnny Manziel with manners.
17. Pittsburgh Steelers
Last Week: 17
Only the Steelers could lose on their bye week. The rest of the division won their games, and it was made known that Matt Canada will remain with the team for the remainder of the season. Friday the 13th hit the Steelers hard.
16. New York Jets
Last Week: 19
Can you believe the Jets had never beaten the Eagles before Sunday? Almost as unbelievable as how mid the Eagles’ offense has looked this season. Credit to the Jets’ defense for balling out once again this week.
15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Last Week: 13
It was great to see the throwback uniforms back for the Bucs. It’s just unfortunate they also decided to play like the 1976 team that originally debuted the look.
14. Los Angeles Rams
Last Week: 14
Insert the meme of Paul Rudd and Sean Evans, accept it’s Matthew Stafford and Sean McVay being surprised that they are 3-3 and in the thick of a playoff race.
13. Houston Texans
Last Week: 16
The Texans are this year’s Seahawks. No one expected this type of production form Hoston, and look at them. C.J. Stroud has thrown nine touchdowns to just one interception and the Texans are sitting at .500 just lurking in the water.
12. Los Angeles Chargers
Last Week: 11
Every week, the Chargers ruin their lives, go to rehab, get clean, and then relapse. And then the cycle repeats the next week.
11. Baltimore Ravens
Last Week: 10
The Ravens are just the Chargers with better coaching. Every week, no matter the lead they have, I sit and think “Now how are they going to mess this up?” They have no juice offensively outside of Zay Flowers- they need more.
10. Seattle Seahawks
Last Week: 8
That Kenneth Walker catch was pretty rad, but no one could be bothered to give a damn since Seattle lost. However, the Seahawks stay in the top 10 even after a loss to the Bengals. They are still a contender to take that top wildcard spot in the NFC playoffs.
9. Cincinnati Bengals
Last Week: 12
I’m making very high-pitched noises of skepticism putting the Bengals this high. But they have won their last two, and Joe Burrow is starting to look like the guy we’ve come to know.
8. Dallas Cowboys
Last Week: 9
Mike McCarthy tried Mike McCarthying, but the Cowboys’ best players showed up. CeeDee Lamb had over 100 yards, and Micah Parsons helped seal the game on the last drive with a sack right before a game-ending interception.
7. Philadelphia Eagles
Last Week: 6
The Eagles have looked violently mediocre offensively this season. They just finally ran into a defense where they couldn’t afford to make mistakes and it caught up to them.
6. Jacksonville Jaguars
Last Week: 7
The offense finally exploded after playing like unemployed crocodile hunters for the first five weeks of the season. Trevor Lawrence is one of the five best quarterbacks in football today, and I am feeling very good about my pick for the No. 1 seed in the AFC.
5. Detroit Lions
Last Week: 5
Bah Gawd that’s Jared Goff’s music!
Goff has been dealing this year. He has a passer rating of 105, he’s thrown for over 1,600 yards, and has 11 touchdowns to just three interceptions. This Lions’ defense has come alive, as well. These are not your father’s Detroit Lions. Or your grandfather’s. Or your great-grandfather’s- this team is a viable threat.
4. Miami Dolphins
Last Week: 4
How nice of the Dolphins to let the Panthers get a two touchdown lead before they decided to start playing. Miami is a lot like AEW’s Danhausen- to their fans, they are very nice. To opposing defenses, they are very evil. By the way, what petition do I sign to start referring to Tua Tagovailoa and Jaylen Waddle as “Tu Face and Penguin?” Especially when they play the Eagles this Sunday, who have three players who refer to themselves as “Batman?”
3. San Francisco 49ers
Last Week: 1
Well it turns out, if you want Brock Purdy to not play well, all you need is to take away Christian McCaffrey and play in a drizzle. The 49ers will be fine, but that was the most human they’ve looked in a long time.
2. Buffalo Bills
Last Week: 3
Well that was a stupid game, wasn’t it? Even with the ugly win, I trust the Bills to figure it out. They have to clean things up offensively, but it’s better to know that now rather than in December.
1. Kansas City Chiefs
Last Week: 2
I’m letting the Chiefs off with a warning. Their offense is very efficient, but they aren’t scoring a ton of points. However, that defense is playing out of their minds, which is a nice change for this team. We are used to talking about Patrick Mahomes, Andy Reid, and Travis Kelce, but right now it’s a lot of Chris Jones, Nick Bolton, and L’Jarius Sneed getting the admiration they deserve.
