After 18 long weeks, we’ve arrived at the end of the Power Rankings. How time flies. Instead of making a big speech about how much I feel like I’ve grown as a person throughout this process, and all the growth I’ve seen in you, too, how about we just go down the list one final time and try to find one nice thing to say about each and every team?
My goal for 2024 is to be more positive, and to keep note of the one prevailing truth I know about the NFL: Despite the league willingly turning this sport into an entertainment circus that will eventually be its demise, there are players and coaches and scouts who are working their tails off each and every week to try to make good football happen.
Spoiler alert ... It doesn’t always happen! But when it does, it’s pretty great.
Thanks to all of you who followed along, and thanks to Detroit Lions fans who complained about your ranking each week. May you one day feel what it’s like to be the unquestioned No. 1.
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1. Baltimore Ravens (13–4)
Last week: loss vs. Pittsburgh, 17–10
Next week: Bye
Lamar Jackson has his fair share of deniers in the media, and proving them wrong en route to an MVP season must make him pretty happy. But what must make him even happier is having the real Jackson doubters—the ones who own other NFL teams—have to come out and tap dance around the question of why no one signed this guy.
2. San Francisco 49ers (12–5)
Last week: loss vs. Los Angeles Rams, 21–20
Next week: Bye
One person we should all be happy for: 49ers defensive coordinator Steve Wilks. Wilks has gotten some head coaching interview requests, which is great because few coaches were hosed as badly as Wilks was earlier in his career. Be it the absolutely abhorrent Cardinals situation—that ended when Wilks was fired after just one year and replaced with Kliff Kingsbury—or Wilks getting pushed aside after doing a fine job under impossible circumstances as the Panthers’ interim head coach, one of the great defensive minds in football is emerging quickly as a sought-after candidate.
3. Detroit Lions (12–5)
Last week: win vs. Minnesota, 30–20
Next week: vs. Los Angeles Rams
This profile of Dan Campbell contains a quote that I cannot get out of my head, and one that only dads will truly understand. Former teammate Tiki Barber said: “It was always like he was mad, but he wasn’t.”
4. Kansas City Chiefs (11–6)
Last week: win at Los Angeles Chargers, 13–12
Next week: vs. Miami
Imagine if you were a salesperson at a PVC pipe company with some kind of goal built into your contract for a certain number of transactions, and you hit it, and everyone in the world knew about it. People were high-fiving you. Your in-laws called you. A stadium full of strangers cheered. That’s basically what happened to Chris Jones on Sunday. And I find myself smiling as he got the uneventful sack to secure his performance bonus and then exited the game for good.
5. Dallas Cowboys (12-5)
Last week: win at Washington, 38–10
Next week: vs. Green Bay
See my Eagles point down below, as I am going to use my “nice” thing to try to tear down a bit of crude normalization. Mike McCarthy has now won 12 games in three straight seasons in Dallas. Why do we all just go along with the idea that Jerry Jones should replace this person—who has now proved himself capable of winning a lot of games with a second organization—and collectively decide that he’s not good enough to win a Super Bowl? It’s not sexy, but the Appreciate Mike McCarthy Movement (AMMM) will gain steam.
6. Cleveland Browns (11–6)
Last week: loss at Cincinnati, 31–14
Next week: at Houston
I am not one to gush over any moves made by Browns ownership, but I did enjoy the team handing Joe Flacco $75,000 for a bonus he would not have picked up otherwise. I just feel like he’s going to buy a nice tractor, or, like a warm sweater, or a new set of golf clubs with the money.
7. Philadelphia Eagles (11–6)
Last week: loss at New York Giants, 27–10
Next week: at Tampa Bay
The late-season collapse of the Eagles has been disappointing. While I am not pointing the blame at Eagles fans in particular, I am pointing the blame at our own expectations. So, what is my happy takeaway, you ask? What is my nice thing? I am hoping that, through the Eagles’ struggles, we can come to learn that making the Super Bowl after losing the game the year before, and both coordinators, is next to impossible. So stop asking!
8. Buffalo Bills (11–6)
Last week: win at Miami, 21–14
Next week: vs. Pittsburgh
After a year of discomfort and internal strife, the Bills ended up winning the division, anyway. But nothing they can accomplish this season will be greater than Josh Allen hurling an Aroldis Chapman–style fastball into the hands of a Dolphins defender only to have it rainbow into the back of the end zone and into the outstretched hands of an open Bills receiver.
9. Miami Dolphins (11–6)
Last week: loss vs. Buffalo, 21–14
Next week: at Kansas City
My favorite part about the Dolphins’ loss to the Bills was that Tua Tagovailoa now has all of the anti-TuAnon detractors exactly where he wants them. The Buffalo game was simply a mouse trap for the haters. Is there any doubt in your mind that, tucked away behind the anonymous confines of a streaming service called Peacock, Tagovailoa will throw four touchdown passes against the broken Chiefs?
10. Pittsburgh Steelers (10–7)
Last week: win at Baltimore, 17–10
Next week: at Buffalo
I don’t have anything to add about the somewhat persistent rumors that something will happen with Mike Tomlin at the end of the season, except for one thought: Wouldn’t you be exhausted after 17 straight winning seasons? Can you imagine all that goes into a streak like that? I would absolutely retire after one winning NFL season.
11. Los Angeles Rams (10–7)
Last week: win at San Francisco, 21–20
Next week: at Detroit
Here’s a not-very-bold prediction: At the start of next season’s power rankings, the Rams will be in the top five. The sky’s the limit for a rejuvenated Sean McVay and Matthew Stafford pairing, and I have a second bold prediction here: If the Rams can get through the first round of the playoffs, I would not be surprised to see them swing their way to the conference championship game or even the Super Bowl. This offense as presently constructed is so untapped in terms of total potential.
12. Houston Texans (10–7)
Last week: win at Indianapolis, 23–19
Next week: vs. Cleveland
There is nothing like watching the pure joy of the Texans celebrating the franchise’s first playoff berth since 2019. This team completely remade itself, and has its quarterback of the future and present. Now, Houston is a year away from being truly dangerous. Although we said that about the Jaguars last year, the Texans feel like they have a bit more staying power.
13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9–8)
Last week: win at Carolina, 9–0
Next week: vs. Philadelphia
It is fun to see Buccaneers offensive coordinator Dave Canales getting interview requests. You’ll see more on that front later this week on The MMQB, but it serves as a warning for all of us during the coaching carousel to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Canales was considered underwhelming as far as hires go, and turned out to be one of the best moves a team made this offseason. Imagination is not limited to the seven or eight people that color commentators feed us selective information on during the year.
14. Green Bay Packers (9–8)
Last week: win vs. Chicago, 17–9
Next week: at Dallas
I am simultaneously rooting for the Jordan Love era to take off and for the Jaire Alexander era to come to a bizarre conclusion. Alexander, as you’ll remember, just decided to promote himself to game-day captain so that he could participate in the coin toss. Then, he did one of my least favorite things in the world, which was to interrupt the live shot of a young hardworking reporter. This is undeniably bad juju heading into an otherwise fun playoff game.
15. Cincinnati Bengals (9–8)
Last week: win vs. Cleveland, 31–14
Next week: Eliminated
I’m not sure what exactly Joe Burrow meant by saying this on Monday, but I thought it was cool that he said it nonetheless. To be out front publicly and have the backs of receivers you are hoping get paid is the sign of a special quarterback. I’m not suggesting any animus between him and the Bengals, but I am saying that some quarterbacks would get their money and recede into the darkness, allowing the check-writers to do whatever they pleased.
16. Seattle Seahawks (9–8)
Last week: win at Arizona, 21–20
Next week: Eliminated
Carroll is coming back for his age-73 season, which is amazing. I feel like many of us rushed through the end of the Patriots dynasty so we could see how it all unraveled. With Carroll, I want to hold on to and appreciate his youthful energy for as long as humanly possible. I will one day (God willing) be 73. And while I will not have hair like Carroll, I hope to exude as much life force as that guy.
17. New Orleans Saints (9–8)
Last week: win vs. Atlanta, 48–17
Next week: Eliminated
I remember watching seminal moments of news and entertainment with my parents on television. Whether it was the Ford Bronco chase, or some famous trial, or the final episode of Seinfeld, I have very distinct sensory reactions tied to those moments. Similarly, I don’t think I will ever forget where I was when I saw this. Here is Jameis Winston having one of the strangest back-and-forths with another human being I have ever seen. I wanted it to end almost immediately, but I also wanted to pay both of them $1,000 to talk on a podcast for an hour.
18. Indianapolis Colts (9–8)
Last week: loss vs. Houston, 23–19
Next week: Eliminated
I would still vote for Shane Steichen as my coach of the year, just ahead of Kevin Stefanski and DeMeco Ryans. Unpopular? Maybe. But I think if we took the totality of the talent pool for all three of the coaches, and placed that information against the backdrop of what was happening in all of those respective organizations at the time, we would find that Steichen was doing the most with the least. Nearly making the playoffs was remarkable. And, like the Rams, the future is quite bright.
19. Jacksonville Jaguars (9–8)
Last week: loss at Tennessee, 28–20
Next week: Eliminated
The Jaguars got worse in almost every conceivable offensive category in 2023 and fired almost the entire defensive staff Monday. While there is nothing funny about this, the eternal pivot of offensive coaches blaming the defense, or defensive coaches blaming the offense, is a beautiful, time-honored dance in our profession.
20. Las Vegas Raiders (8–9)
Last week: win vs. Denver, 27–14
Next week: Eliminated
The Raiders are the industry leader in having really cool interim coaches. Here’s hoping they actually stick with one. The NFL is sliding so far away from becoming the meritocracy (or at least something close to it) we came to love. Most owners would probably rather hire Timothée Chalamet to be their next head coach. Antonio Pierce has grinded in this league since entering the NFL as a player in 2001.
21. Denver Broncos (8–9)
Last week: loss at Las Vegas, 27–14
Next week: Eliminated
The Broncos didn’t really give me any sort of satisfaction in 2023. I either wanted to be proved right—I picked Denver to win five games—or to be so wrong (like I was with the Patriots) that I could feel the weighted satisfaction of Denver fans stepping all over me en route to the playoffs. Winning eight games, which is just enough to say that Sean Payton wasn’t unreasonable to believe he could make the postseason, is the ultimate letdown.
22. Chicago Bears (7–10)
Last week: loss at Green Bay, 17–9
Next week: Eliminated
The Bears pulled off one of the greatest coups in recent draft history, ended the season with good vibes and now walk into the draft with big-time Scrooge McDuck energy. Outside of being a consistently good football team, being a team that always crushes the offseason is a close second. It’s almost as fun as winning actual games that, let’s be real, you would start to complain about, anyway. Look at Alabama fans. They can’t even enjoy a close victory.
23. Atlanta Falcons (7–10)
Last week: loss at New Orleans, 48–17
Next week: Eliminated
I’m happy for the Falcons because they have the perpetual, eternal motivation to take down their chief rivals for the rest of eternity. Any pregame speech before Falcons-Saints for the rest of time should just be replaced with Winston explaining why he felt the need to audible out of the victory formation, with all the faux seriousness of a QVC vacuum sealer salesperson.
24. Tennessee Titans (6–11)
Last week: win vs. Jacksonville, 28–20
Next week: Eliminated
The ending of Sunday’s game was so weird, and major props to the franchise for seemingly allowing it all to happen. Derrick Henry is only 30, but everyone just accepted his waving goodbye to the fans in Nashville as if he’s definitely leaving. Meanwhile, the coaching carousel is already underway, and Mike Vrabel’s future with the organization is very much up in the air. I love it. Don’t let anyone else make your schedule.
25. Minnesota Vikings (7–10)
Last week: loss at Detroit, 30–20
Next week: Eliminated
The Vikings had one of the most enjoyable winning streaks of the season, and when it was time to shove their chips to the center of the table, they traded for the Passtronaut and let it ride. I will forever have respect for that team, even though they are back in the unenviable position of paying off Kirk Cousins’s new minivan in free agency this offseason.
26. New York Giants (6–11)
Last week: win vs. Philadelphia, 27–10
Next week: Eliminated
The Giants (reportedly) allowed one of the best defensive coordinators in the league to walk out of their building Monday, which is a bummer. But, we will always have the memories of Don ‘Wink’ Martindale in his stunner shades, sleeves cut, manning the sideline in East Rutherford and hurling more blitzes than nearly any other team in the league. While he will no longer be wearing royal blue, somewhere out there, a team will need a little Wink in their lives. God, we can only hope it’s the Eagles.
27. New York Jets (7–10)
Last week: win at New England, 17–3
Next week: Eliminated
I’m super happy for the Jets, who finally have someone like Aaron Rodgers around to tell it like it is.
“The bulls--- that has nothing to do with winning has to get out of the building,” he said at a recent press conference. We can find out what he thinks about this, the Kennedy assassination and the missing Malaysian airliner on the next episode of the Punter Tank Top Hour.
28. Arizona Cardinals (4–13)
Last week: loss vs. Seattle, 21–20
Next week: Eliminated
Good for the Cardinals for sticking with Kyler Murray. We can place that No. 1 on the list of preseason story lines I absolutely did not believe in. And one of the few preseason story lines I got completely wrong. The climate was perfect for an absolute tank. Instead, the Cardinals had the second-best rushing team in the NFL in terms of yards per attempt. They also had a hard-charging, nonbreaking pass defense. I thought they were going to have to kidnap Kliff Kingsbury before he told Caleb Williams bad things about Arizona.
29. Los Angeles Chargers (5–12)
Last week: loss vs. Kansas City, 13–12
Next week: Eliminated
One of the league’s most disappointing teams took the year 2023 on the chin, but the bright side is that, many times, owners emerge from these periods of failure determined to put a decent product on the field. You have to enjoy it while it lasts—an owner genuinely caring, that is—because it’s certainly rare. Like a passing comet or a pollution-free sunset.
30. Washington Commanders (4–13)
Last week: loss vs. Dallas, 38–10
Next week: Eliminated
Farewell to Ron Rivera, who coached through personal hardship, a franchise name change, a congressional investigation and an ownership change. One hopes there is some sort of retirement island locale reserved for coaches who have endured particularly grating tenures and held it together (for the most part). He can be joined by everyone who has coached for the Jets and anyone who has coached Antonio Brown.
31. New England Patriots (4–13)
Last week: loss vs. New York Jets, 17–3
Next week: Eliminated
If this is it for Bill Belichick and the Patriots, let us celebrate the fact that Belichick is still willing to go to work every day and make it super awkward for Robert Kraft until the owner decides to let him go. I hope that in our final hours we can all continue to be uniquely ourselves, and make life just a little bit harder on someone who is in charge of you.
32. Carolina Panthers (2–15)
Over the last four weeks of the season, Bryce Young graded out as one of the worst quarterbacks in the NFL (34th out of 37 qualified starters for the snap minimum I inputted). Right ahead of him was Trevor Lawrence. And while Lawrence was also playing through injury, my point remains the same: Good players can have awful stretches of football, and great players can start out their careers in bad places with mismanaged rosters. Young is going to be really good. Trust me!