To say Russell Wilson’s debut season with the Denver Broncos has been a disappointment would be an understatement. After signing a five-year contract with over $160 million guaranteed in the offseason, Wilson’s performed like one of the worst quarterbacks in pro football. Such individual performance is especially damaging to the Broncos’ dynamic, given that they have one of the NFL’s top defenses and would probably be a playoff contender with even an average quarterback.
But, as it stands, Wilson’s play remains in the toilet — as is the Broncos’ 3-7 campaign. Unfortunately, Denver can’t reasonably flush its huge mess down in Year 1. You can’t risk such a thing when you only have one toilet in one regular-sized bathroom. Thankfully for Wilson, he has plenty of breathing room to plunge his 2022 season — if he so chooses.
You see, the $25 million estate Wilson owns with his wife Ciara in the Denver area has 12 bathrooms (!). At the moment, Wilson has seven touchdowns in nine games. Over a 17-game season, Wilson is on a .778 per game touchdown pass pace. Or 13 touchdowns in 17 games.
Knowing that some NFL fans have been steadily juxtaposing Wilson’s touchdown pass to bathroom numbers week by week. And they’re beginning to sweat whether he’ll actually finish with more touchdown passes in 2022 than the bathrooms in his enormous mansion:
this poor guy didn’t think he’d still be making these in week 11 pic.twitter.com/MNvbwz6iti
— brittany anne (@bwisner08) November 21, 2022
honestly this is starting to become a sweat#nflverse pic.twitter.com/hWRNpZQQR1
— Kent Weyrauch (@KentWeyrauch) November 21, 2022
Words cannot properly express just how much I love this chart. It’s also easily discernible for a layman — laid out well on the x-axis and y-axis. I’d argue this setup almost makes it scientific!
Back to Wilson. I don’t know that he actually finishes with a positive end-zone-to-toilet ratio. Based on two and a months of precedent, his chances of eclipsing that (low) bar are starting to slowly circle the bowl. Which reminds me: Wilson started the 2022 season with an over-and-under of 31.5 touchdown passes with BetMGM. Can you say awkward?
Wilson’s opponents won’t let him avoid this unique futility so easily, either. Four of Denver’s last seven games are on the road, with both games against the juggernaut Chiefs still on the docket. If Wilson couldn’t get ahead of the curve by now, I think the bathrooms in his house are about to beat him in this race.
As the essential context-giving stats say: The bathrooms’ performance is sustainable over an extended period. (Purely because they’re not going anywhere and don’t have to do anything.) Wilson playing consistently well in a depressing Denver season is not.
Folks, please brace yourselves. We are officially on Potty Watch in Broncos Country.
NFL fans thought the implication Wilson might finish with fewer TD passes than bathrooms in his house was hilarious
Oh come on!! 😂😂😂😭😭😭 https://t.co/kGTpe20dKF
— Ketse, The Manelisi (@ManelisiKetse) November 22, 2022
Oh my god https://t.co/wEjUhTqjfR
— KMAX (@kmaxhimer) November 22, 2022
This is a top 2 graph of all time https://t.co/YqHsEdqZMY
— 𝔢𝔫𝔣𝔩𝔢𝔭𝔣𝔩𝔬𝔴 (@enflepflow) November 22, 2022
Every time I am about to quit twitter I see something like this. https://t.co/FtRDQWTqqC
— Scott Schymanski (@Themanski_90) November 22, 2022
Waiting for the schefter announcement that a Denver area contractor just got hired to remove 5 bathrooms from an “anonymous broncos player’s home” https://t.co/Vke9ltRnSt
— soup breath* (@mattkal) November 21, 2022
when I say I do sports analytics this is what I mean https://t.co/1blD5GqRfG
— maeve 🐄 (@MaeveEmery) November 21, 2022
Someone said Russell Wilson has more bathrooms in his house than TD passes this season and I’m dead 🤣
— VRJ (@jjerm) November 22, 2022
Oh boy, this made my night
Congratulations bathrooms on another great week https://t.co/klEe6WJCHv
— VanceMan (@VanceMan360) November 23, 2022
— Mark Drumheller (@x_drumheller) November 22, 2022
I love this… https://t.co/VoTCiVLXd0
— TC24 (@TChambers24) November 22, 2022
