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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
Politics
Dave Burke

'Next PM plays the hits like a Bon Jovi tribute act while we all live on a prayer'

And so the travelling circus rolls into another city.

For the umpteenth time in what feels like an eternity, Rishi Sunak and Liz Truss rocked up in a new corner of the UK to pitch themselves to local Tories.

We may not have a clocked-in government anymore, but at least we have the cheery spectacle of two former allies spelling out how the other will lead the country to economic ruin.

On this occasion Darlington was chosen for the honour, and the Tory faithful piled into the impressive 116-year-old Hippodrome Theatre.

Later this month it will host a Bon Jovi tribute act, and at the current rate the UK really will be livin' on a prayer by then.

Rishi Sunak, pictured, and Liz Truss rocked up in a new corner of the UK to pitch themselves to local Tories (Getty Images)

Fans of the big haired 80s rockers will no doubt relish seeing tunes they've heard over and again blasted out - which makes it not too dissimilar to the latest hustings. Anyone who's tuned into these events before knows that Ms Truss used to sit on a planning committee ("Those are hours I'll never get back," she quips for the millionth time on this campaign trail), while Mr Sunak used to balance the books at his mum's pharmacy.

It's starting to feel like the middle night of a 50 date tour when the novelty has worn off and the band fights to muster enough enthusiasm to get to the big number at the end.

The Hippodrome has a capacity of 1,000, meaning that around one in 160 of the party's members - the 0.3% of the population who get to pick our next PM - could theoretically be present, although the upper gallery was looking pretty sparse.

Enthusiastic supporters were present but not all seats were full (Getty Images)

Intriguingly, considering just how long this debacle has been going on, many in the audience are still fence-sitting. Asked at the start to raise their hands if they hadn't already made up their mind, around four in ten arms go up.

Someone more cynical than myself might query why the other six bothered to show up, but it did give the semblance of being all to play for.

Mr Sunak, lagging behind his rival, will take heart from the response he elicited. The south coast born ex-chancellor - who last week said his dream job would be running Southampton FC but nonetheless bragged about being the most northern Tory chancellor ever - drew a big cheer when he said it was "good to be home".

Not to be outdone, Ms Truss soon reminded us she's a "straight-talking Yorkshirewoman".

Liz Truss soon reminded us she's a "straight-talking Yorkshirewoman" (Getty Images)

If this all felt as new and edgy as a Bon Jovi greatest hits tour, at least there was a chance to try out some new material.

Earlier the head of the Confederation of British Industry (CBI), Tony Danker, had urged the candidates to get around a table with Boris Johnson to eek out a response to the energy bill crisis, rather than wait until next month.

But Ms Truss doesn't do duets, instead dismissing this idea as a "kangaroo committee".

Liz Truss at the Darlington Hippodrome last night (Getty Images)

On top of that, she said, she's too busy being Foreign Secretary - leaving the awkward question of how she finds the time to run a leadership campaign hanging silently in the air.

There's time for some drama too. Rishi Sunak is yet again confronted by a man in the audience accusing him of disloyalty to the outgoing PM - something we've seen a lot in recent weeks.

Poor Rishi will forever be haunted by the ghost of Boris Johnson like some low-grade Charles Dickens adaptation, as much as he says (or in this case shouts) he didn't stick the knife in.

Not all the crowd were fans of Sunak (Getty Images)

There was a brief moment to touch on the NHS - both think it's great but plan to make it more efficient in unspecified ways - and then that was that for night five of this never-ending tour.

Picking a winner certainly wasn't easy. It's definitely not the country, particularly after Ms Truss so emphatically torpedoed the idea of working together like grown-ups to overcome a pressing problem.

On balance Mr Sunak may have just edged it, and certainly will have done enough to stay in the race.

In two weeks a Jon Bon Jovi soundalike will belt out a rendition of Bad Medicine on the same stage. But those who sat through this offering from the Tory contenders will have already suffered exactly that.

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