Not to get too "Operation Normal" (to quote a former premier), but news this week that Newcastle Transport was getting all nostalgic about the history of its public network in the city had us smiling a bit like Scot MacDonald did when Gladys uttered that immortal line in 2019; that is, with visible concern and hoping no one looks at us while we stand in front of that big red tram no one asked for.
It's almost a decade (nine years in November) since the state government removed the first pieces of the heavy rail from the city centre and five years since Lyle Lanley and Co. swanned up the M1 from Macquarie Street for the Newcastle Mono - sorry, old habit - light rail's maiden voyage.
The city's second set of trams (some of us surely still remember the first ones that were decommissioned in 1950) might not have the charm (or network coverage) of the first generation but, in the interests of civic optimism, it's worth noting that the little red engine that almost-couldn't is holding up reasonably well (even if it doesn't really go anywhere).
Still, our memories are not so short as to forget that the old heavy rail has been a soft spot for many in Newcastle since the Baird government gave then-transport minister Andrew Constance the power to rip it out.
The removal of the city's rail lines led to an infamous and ultimately doomed battle to save the Wickham to Newcastle stretch, which went all the way to the state's Supreme Court before we got Trams 2.0 tearing up and down Hunter Street.
To be fair to Newcastle Transport, we're not saying looking back on our history isn't neat. We love a good Throwback Thursday as much as anyone. It's just that Novocastrian memories of our public transport network could be charitably described as "mixed".
Ahead of a planned open day at Hamilton Station on May 25, offering locals a look behind the scenes at how the public transport system works, the company that runs the show - Keolis Downer - is remembering all those bygone days of getting around (presumably without all the contentious bits).
"We know Novocastrians are proud of our city's rich history, and the evolution of public transport has been a key part of everyone's life at some point, whether travelling to school, the shops, social events or work," Keolis Downer boss Emmanuel Genlot said, and to that, Topics says all power to them.
The outfit has been sharing a few historic photos of double-decker buses on Hunter Street in the lead-up to the event to drum up some feelings of nostalgia and has encouraged us all to get involved via their website.
It's a sweet idea, and the old photos of busses sure are something, but while we're looking back, it's worth remembering that Newcastle's relationship with its public transport system hasn't always been so 'positive' (just ask Andrew Constance).
In 2019, we were voted by the National Roads and Motorists' Association as having one of the worst public transport networks in the state.
But that was years ago, the 'positive' set might argue; let's not get caught up on whose school kids were left stranded where.
Fair enough.
In February just this year, the state's bus industry task force recommended increased funding for better bus services along four key routes from Charlestown to Newcastle via Jesmond and Newcastle University; Cameron Park to Newcastle via New Lambton; Cessnock to East Maitland; and Mimmi to Newcastle via Wallsend.
"The task force is aware of a particular need for bus priority measures in Newcastle, particularly in the area servicing John Hunter Hospital," the report said. So, perhaps progress is being made on the reliability front after all.
But that still leaves the somewhat more savoury memory that the trams arrived - as was sensationally revealed by a damning auditor general's report in 2018 - without a business case or proper consultation with the city that had to live with it and the state that had to pay for it.
We only got the business case for the extension after the Newcastle Herald asked for it under freedom of information laws two years later (presumably because Mr Constance was still "polishing" it at that stage).
But as the prophets Gallagher and Gallagher famously sang, we don't look back in anger. It's just that, for better or worse, we have the public transport system that we have - a tram to a dead-end and a bus network that shows up only most of the time.
Forgive us for not feeling inspired.
Surely the future of public transport in Newcastle is more interesting than the past? Historic photos are nice to look at, but investment in the future rather than dwelling on bygone history is probably more important for those in the business of getting people where they need to be today.
No one feels nostalgic about the bus they just missed. And they feel even worse about the one that didn't show up at all.
In the spirit of fairness, while we're thinking about stuff that happened before, it's worth remembering that we've had a change of government since the last time the premier came to visit.
You'd be forgiven for not noticing - after more than a year in office, the new guy hasn't dropped in to ride the local network yet. Perhaps he's just waiting for the next service to arrive.
