Perhaps it's a side effect of the particular kind of hubris that comes with wanting to have a whole space in the paper to write your thoughts down for the benefit of the fish that will be wrapped in them tomorrow, but I feel like I've been finishing a lot of my discussions (some have even called them rants) lately with "thank you for coming to my TED talk."
It's a nice way to wrap up those casual, after-work beer conversations when you suddenly realise that it has been quite a while since you took a breath and probably even longer since the person you're TED-talking at got a word in edgewise. To my loving partner, I can only say I'm sorry.
The problem, of course, is that in saying this, I've probably been doing a great disservice to the whole idea of TED talks, the entire point of which is that they are about ideas worth sharing rather than - as is commonly my case - a litany of things that I have been thinking about lately delivered in order of what seems most pressing while we look over the entree menu.
As it turns out, TED is not an acronym for "Torrential outpouring of Expounded Diatribe" any more than the "X" at the end of TEDx is a shorthand for "my new special interest is why all the excavators are yellow, and please sit quietly while I tell you all about it".
(Incidentally, it's because yellow - among other things - is the colour our eyes are genetically really good at seeing from a distance, which is helpful for passersby when you're swinging around a bucket the size of a caravan with teeth on it.)
TED stands for "technology, education, and design," and its slogan literally is "ideas worth sharing." If you've ever watched a TED talk online, you know there is a pretty classic formula.
Someone wanders out on stage with a laser pointer or a little remote to flick through their slide deck, stands in the customary big red dot, and proceeds to tell you about the time that they cultivated a rare form of mountain mushroom while climbing Mount Everest with a chicken in their backpack, and if you really think about it, what they discovered can tell us a lot about how to design a functioning city rail network.
TED talks are awesome because they can take something that seems obscure and suggest a new and innovative approach to a big problem that we have only just begun to deal with.
As Cooks Hill prepares to host a local round of talks themed "Beyond Boundaries" in October, organisers are looking for potential speakers who might have an innovative or unexpected take on the issues of the day.
TED told Topics that they have received roughly 40 applications from experts in a range of specialised disciplines. While the brief was open to just about any topic, from science to business to global issues, TED was keen to point out that the talks are meant to speak to a broader and pressing issue of the day.
"This year, we aim to bring together thought leaders, innovators, and storytellers to explore how pushing beyond traditional limits can lead to meaningful change across various fields," organisers said in a statement.
Unlike the keynote address, common to boardrooms keen to boost morale, TED talks are about finding unexpected solutions from unexpected places to broadly recognisable issues.
"We have had about 40 applications ... but very few looking at social issues," TEDx licensee Jake Hoppe said.
Locals surely remember that Newcastle hosted a previous TEDx event in 2011 that heard from, among other notable speakers, intensive care specialist Peter Saul and Newcastle Museum director Julie Baird.
Cooks Hill is in line to host its TEDx event (the "x" of which, incidentally, represents the independence local-level breakout from the TED brand founded in 1984) on Saturday, October 19, at The Playhouse.
"In line with our commitment to diversity and innovation, TEDx Cooks Hill is currently seeking speakers for our upcoming event," the statement said.
"We are looking for thought leaders, innovators, problem solvers, and storytellers to share their ideas on stage."
If you're looking for a legitimate chance to say the hallowed line and you've got, as the slogan goes, an idea worth sharing, prospective speakers can visit tedxcookshill.com.au/speak/ to apply.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.