A dad-to-be has found himself in a difficult position after his pregnant wife admitted she has her "heart set" on naming their unborn baby after her late first husband.
He's admitted he feels uncomfortable at the idea of using the deceased man's name, Thomas, for their little boy, claiming it would put "so much baggage" on their child.
The 41-year-old man doesn't even want to use Thomas as a middle name and has made his feelings on the matter very clear. Unfortunately, his wife of eight years hasn't taken his firm stance very well and has now accused him of "being insecure and jealous of a dead man".
Seeking advice on Reddit under the username u/Throwawaytoisy, he wrote: "I told her that I am fine with whatever name, as long as he isn't named 'after someone' (anyone). She likes other names too: Daniel, Chris, James, I like them all. I will love my son by any name. I just don't want to name him after her late first husband.
Do you think the wife's request is reasonable? Have your say in the comment section below.
"We talked about it the other day and she told me all the reasons why she wants to name him Thomas. It will be her way of honouring him, of remembering him, it's a great name, etc. I think some of her reasons are super valid."
However, when she told her he really didn't want to go with the name, she told him he was "being insecure and jealous of a dead man", an accusation he feels just isn't fair at all.
He continued: "His picture is on the wall of our family pictures, we visit his grave together sometimes, and his parents still come over to visit my wife sometimes. She still has her wedding ring from their wedding (she doesn't wear it though) and wears a necklace he bought her. I am okay with all of it."
Turning to his fellow Reddit users for advice, the fed-up husband asked whether he was indeed being a 'petty a******' in the words of his wife, for not even wanting Thomas as a middle name. However, a number of people completely get his discomfort and feel his wife needs to be more respectful.
One person commented: "The deceased husband will have no emotional or sentimental connection to your new baby. He’ll be nothing to the child (sorry). It would be weird for her to ‘push him’ onto the future upbringing of your child. She’s maybe feeling guilty for moving on and starting another family. Whatever is going on in her head the baby and you are in the now."
Another advised: "I think a very good response is to tell her as much as she loved her late husband, and you love the person she and her daughter are in part because of him, your child is not a replacement person to love in his stead. You are not jealous of a dead man, you just want your child to be loved and respected as their own person and not a living memorial for someone else, especially a person that is no relation to them."
Do you have a baby name story to share? Email us at julia.banim@reachplc.com
