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Irish Mirror
Irish Mirror
National
Michelle Cullen

'My wife and mother-in-law have given our baby a different name - I want a divorce'

A couple have found themselves at loggerheads after they made a deal to decide how they would pick a name for their baby.

The pair decided that if they had a boy, the wife would have first dibs, but if they welcomed a daughter the husband would have first choice.

The woman was so convinced they were going to have a boy that her family gave her a pile of blue gifts at her baby shower and her mum was even knitting clothes bearing the male name she'd chosen.

READ MORE: 'My cousin cheerfully announced she was pregnant at my baby's funeral - so I told her to leave'

However when the big day finally arrived they were blessed with a little girl, so the dad got to work thinking of the perfect name.

He decided to go for a name he had been keen on throughout the pregnancy , and told his wife he would be popping it on the birth certificate.

She appeared to have no objection so he went to make it official.

But a year later, he came home from work and found his wife and mother-in-law discussing their daughter, referring to her by a different name.

Taking to Reddit, the confused father wrote: "When I enquired who they were talking about, they kinda went 'deer in headlights' and blurted that they were talking about my daughter.

"When I asked why they were using another name, my mother-in-law said 'because that's what we decided to name her'. Then she went on a rant about how it's unfair that I chose the name and how it's completely unsuitable for her, etc.

"I was shocked because this was the first time anyone had claimed any objections to the name."

It then dawned on the poster, who goes by the username u/Ok-Toe-5157, that his daughter has always struggled to recognise her own name because he and his wife had been using two completely different names for the past year.

His wife later suggested they go as far as to officially change their daughter's name.

When he stuck to his guns, a fight erupted, with the new mum accusing him of being 'unsupportive' and stealing 'her right to name the child she gave birth to.'

He continued: "Here's the worst part. I could be convinced to change the first name but the one she wants is a very odd feminine version of the name she wanted for her son.

"Imagine using a female version of the name Drake or Thomas. She got angry and left both my daughter and me, and went to her parents.

"Her entire family except my father-in-law is calling me controlling and saying how it's unfair I chose the entire name and made it all about myself."

He claims his wife's behaviour is "out of left field and creepy" that he's even considering divorce, and has begun to feel that "she may be trying to recreate this son by sacrificing our daughter".

His fellow Reddit users have agreed that her actions are completely out of order, viewing this long-held secret - and subsequent explosive reaction - as a 'huge red flag'.

One person wrote: "You not only had an agreement that she'd choose a boy's name, and you a girl's, but that you both had veto power. She had every opportunity to have input into the name.

"The only person being controlling here is the one trying to insist that twelve months later she gets to change your daughter's name. To basically the boy's name she'd chosen. That's weird, and mildly disturbing."

Another advised: "Your wife and mother-in-law are engaging in some A-1 quality gaslighting. You and your wife had an agreement and they're trying to turn you into the bad guy because you're sticking to it.

"Get some family counseling to understand what is going on here. Divorce may be inevitable but they're the ones going down that path."

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