A father who felt "broken" discovered he'd had unidentified autism for decades - after his own son was diagnosed with the developmental disorder.
Orion Kelly, 44, found himself on the verge of suicide after "soul destroying" experiences fighting to get his challenges assessed into his adulthood.
The dad of two says he had recognised he was "different" for decades - beginning in his "arduous" childhood - but felt his multiple assessments with specialist doctors weren't rigorous enough.
Orion said there was "an utter lack of interest" and the original assessment he was not autistic was largely based on a lack of eye contact and the fact he had studied at university.
But when Orion and 38-year-old wife Renee's first son, Conan, experienced similar challenges that the dad had faced as a child, he fought to get both he and his son diagnosed.
His experience parallels that of model and television personality Christine McGuinness who, in her 30s, was diagnosed with autism after her children were.
Orion told the Mirror: "Raising an undiagnosed autistic baby, toddler, or child is probably the most challenging experience of your life is an understatement, a massive understatement.
"No one knocks on your door and tells you, ‘Oh I’m here to inform you that you have an autistic child, come with me and I will make everything better."
Conan was diagnosed around aged five, but his dad - who is a content creator and author - has faced a huge battle, even after recognising Conan's developmental delay.
More than one in 100 people are on the autism spectrum and there are about 700,000 autistic adults and children in the UK.
But Orion, who lives with his family in Victoria, Australia, said: "Without my wife supporting and encouraging me to seek a second opinion and assessment from a psychiatrist who specialised in autism diagnosis, I fear I may not still be here. I mean this genuinely and wholeheartedly when I say that autism saved my life.
"For an undiagnosed autistic adult, having a doctor tell you that you're not autistic can have a profoundly detrimental impact on you. If I am not autistic, I must be just a bad person, born to suffer and struggle my way through life.
"My initial autism assessment experience left me in a deep, dark hole where I felt more isolated and alone than ever before, and I’ve spent my life battling those feelings. For an undiagnosed autistic person, receiving your autism diagnosis is more of a recognition than a diagnosis.
"Finally, after a life of struggling, you are recognised as an autistic person, and everything starts to make sense. But for me, it didn't happen the first time around.
"My wife said at the time that she genuinely feared for my life as the experience had taken a significant toll on my mental health. The days and weeks after my initial assessment my mental health spiralled to the point of almost no return.
"I was on the verge of suicide. I had lost all hope that my suffering and struggling through life could be put down to something more than I was just a bad person who didn’t deserve to be here.
"If there was no real reason behind my lifelong challenges, or support and assistance to overcome them, I was destined to a life of suffering. A life I was fast running out of the ability to maintain."
The writer, who also has three-year-old son Hugo with Renee, eventually found and paid for a doctor who took more time to diagnose him after Conan's experiences.
"Don’t get me wrong, it was a long and rigorous process over multiple sessions, but to be told I am autistic not only saved my life but allowed my rebirth," Orion continued.
"There is nothing easy about being neurodivergent on a neurotypical planet, but the recognition and supports that come with a diagnosis are life-saving for an undiagnosed autistic adult.
"It throws up many challenges, for me, as an autistic person with an autistic son, managing the sensory and regulation needs of two autistic people is a daily battle.
"We are both hypersensitive to stimuli in our environment, which can cause autistic meltdowns, shutdowns, and burnout. Every interaction and communication are a significant struggle for me.
"My message to those undiagnosed autistic adults or any person for that matter that is resonating with my experiences is to discuss it further with your GP or family doctor and explore the possibility of an autism assessment.
"But use my experiences and seek the services of a practitioner who specialised in adult autism assessment. Do your homework, utilise the support of a loved one, and most importantly, know that you are not alone. You are entitled to the same quality of life as any other person on the planet and while your differences come with challenges they also come with many strengths."
Speaking after her own diagnosis in 2021, Christine, then married to TV presenter and comedian Paddy, 49, said: "It has been a huge relief for me to get diagnosed, and to get to talk about it openly and actually people have been really, really kind and not judgemental about it.
"I think people want to understand now.
"It was an emotional rollercoaster, it really was, but ultimately it has helped raise awareness and helped people understand. It has really opened up conversation between me and my husband."
The Samaritans is available 24/7 if you need to talk. You can contact them for free by calling 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org or head to the website to find your nearest branch. You matter.
