A young woman who is preparing for her wedding day says she was dismayed to learn her elder sister wasn't in support of her marriage, having asked her to 'strongly consider' whether she actually wanted to walk down the aisle. The 24-year-old bride-to-be has been engaged to her 30-year-old fiancé Derrick for one month and says they knew each other for six months prior to the proposal.
Although she knows full well that this isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things, she declares they are 'madly in love and ready to commit ourselves to each other fully'. Her 26-year-old sister had initially been supportive of their relationship, but everything changed once they announced their engagement.
She let her sister know about her engagement via text, and received a 'congratulations' message in response. When they met up face-to-face, however, she took a more serious tone, and urged her to 'strongly consider the marriage'.
Taking to Reddit, where she goes by the username u/unsupportivesister, the confused bride recalled: "She told me I was young and could meet people I loved more. That was offensive to me because I love Derrick more than anything, and she’s basically saying my love isn’t that important.
"She also told me that Derrick and I could date for longer before we got married. But we are already fully committed to each other, so we might as well get married and be recognized as soul mates in the eyes of the law."
Hurt by her sister's admission, she asked her sister directly whether or not she supported her decision to marry Derrick. She bluntly replied that she did not.
Reaching out to fellow Reddit users for advice, the upset bride continued: "So I stood up, told her she shouldn’t be at the wedding if she didn’t want us to get married, and left. I haven’t talked to her since, although she has texted me multiple times asking to talk.
"Derrick and I were working on the wedding guest list yesterday, and we both agreed my sister should not come if she doesn’t support us. So we are planning not to invite her."
After a conversation with a friend, however, she now fears she might have taken things too far, and feels uninviting her sister completely may have been a 'little rude'.
One concerned person commented: "You have not known him long enough to actually love him, you are infatuated. On top of that you are ready to ruin the relationship with your sister for a guy you actually do not know?
"The fact that he is ready to allow for estrangement is very concerning. Narcissists and abusers like to isolate their victims. That is my concern regarding him encouraging the rift with her sister."
Another advised: "A mature 30-year-old would say 'she’s your sister, she has a right to be concerned, she doesn’t understand our relationship' or whatever.
"He’s really quick to jump on the 'isolate you from your family' train and that’s concerning. Sister being concerned isn’t toxic or unusual, any adult would see that. They both sound childish and not ready for marriage."
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