We’ll know the exact day when climate change has done for all of us. Celtic and Rangers fans will herald the start of a new season with a display of mutual respect and an agreed acknowledgement that the best team will win in the end.
And that will be the day when Hell freezes over. The climate hasn’t changed regarding the Old Firm for the last 134 years and there was a symbolic demonstration of that being the case last Tuesday. On the day of the hottest temperatures in the history of mankind in Britain, it rained in Glasgow.
Not for long, but a shower persistent enough to prove the city of Celtic and Rangers will do what it likes – and global warming has no jurisdiction within its boundary. Not even on the day when the earth caught fire. Contrary. It’s what we do. The downpour coincided with the announcement of Celtic’s CEO Michael Nicholson replacing his Ibrox equivalent, Stewart Robertson, on the SPFL board.
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Irrefutable proof, for those who want to believe these things, that Celtic have the governing body in their back pocket and run Scottish football for their own convenience. Then the BBC issued a public apology to Rangers for errors of journalistic judgment in their coverage of the club’s affairs and were allowed back in the front door of Ibrox to cover matches for the first time in seven years, starting next weekend.
Irrefutable proof, for those on the other side who want to believe it, that Rangers run Scottish football. In between, a Celtic fan had told me on radio that Calvin Bassey was a “liability” – far from being the player worth the £20million Ajax had paid for him.
At the same time they were totally uninterested in my assertion that a player’s value is determined by what somebody is willing to pay for them in the transfer market. And if Ajax are now contractually bound to pay up to £23m for Bassey, depending on add-on clauses kicking in, surely it’s an even better piece of business to get that kind of money for an alleged dud?
I know it’s obligatory for some Celtic supporters to say that all of Rangers’ transfer business is rubbish. And I accept it’s mandatory for some Rangers fans, at the same time, to dismiss Celtic’s work in the transfer market in identically derogatory terms.
Traditionally, it’s also statutory for the pair to suspect underhand motives off the park will influence the progress of the new season on the pitch. But, really and truly, it’s all baloney and a massive insult to two clubs who have assembled excellent squads through innovative signings and no small cost.
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They both have exciting players who are being managed by two first-class coaches in Ange Postecoglou and Giovanni van Bronckhorst. The conspiracy theorists, and those who think a club the size of Ajax are in the habit of paying tens of millions for players of no substance, are making themselves look silly and outdated.
I have a theory. There was a period of time when Rangers were footering around in the lower leagues, taking two attempts to get out of the Championship and making dubious choices in terms of who coached the team. The intensity of the rivalry between them and their historic rivals diminished as a result because there was no real competition while Celtic prospered without an adversary.
But now we have two sets of fans who have found their voice through the upgraded nature of the teams they support. It’s the quality of their comments that’s important, though, and decides if they are worth listening to or not.
We are days away from witnessing the start of a level of competition unsurpassed for a decade and more. A two-horse race for sure but if you’ve only got two runners it certainly helps if they’re both thoroughbreds. As I thought a couple of weeks ago, the game of fivers and tenners is making a nostalgic comeback in the transfer market and the player menu is even more appetising than it was last season at Celtic and Rangers.
All of that has to be worthy of praise, surely, because it’s certainly undeserving of crass comments with no basis in fact, judgment or perspective. And, to nail one other falsehood to the mast while we’re about it, the introduction of VAR into the Premiership this season won’t bring conclusive proof that assorted injustices on the part of match officials have unfairly influenced previous title wins by anyone.
That’s just another cheap shot from hostile witnesses to compensate for the upset of being the runner up. There’s been a levelling up of playing resources at Celtic Park and Ibrox and the promise exists of a season primed to provide sustained excitement from a superior level of playing talent.
If you allow yourself, you might just enjoy it.
Who's going to win the title?
Jumping to conclusions is the purest form of exercise a pundit can get in this game. Tradition also demands the annual ritual whereby you are duty bound to forecast exactly what will happen 10 months and 38 games from now in terms of the Premiership title race.
Look into the future, ignore any unforeseen circumstances that may arise and deliver a definitive answer on the identity of the champions. The last two seasons underlined the futility of the exercise.
Celtic were going for 10-in-a-row, only to implode and lose the title to their greatest rivals by a gargantuan 25 points. Last season they began still engulfed by chaos then some bloke called Ange Postecoglou wandered in and won the title back from Rangers.
All Celtic fans concede they didn’t see it coming. It is, on the other hand, unacceptable for pundits not to be able to tell the future in advance.
In other words, the prediction business is about nothing other than the ritual humiliation of people who suffer from a premonition malfunction. But, out of respect for tradition, I’ll play the game and say you couldn’t get the proverbial fag paper between Celtic and Rangers.
It could come down to the fact Rangers look more reliable in defence while looking like a team with goals throughout the side. It’s tighter than two coats of paint but my guess, and I use the word advisedly, is the game of pass the parcel with the title will continue.
I will now stand back and take what’s coming.